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Sean Parker who became an object of Internet ridicule for his expensive fairy tale forest wedding in Big Sur has penned a 9,500-word essay to try and get the Internet to like him and his wedding. Not satisfied with the various quotes he gave various news outlets, including a lengthy email to The Atlantic's Alexis Madrigal, Parker rehashed the whole thing for an Internet that probably had other wedding-related news at top of mind. The incredibly lengthy account recounts everything already on the record and then spends a long time hating on the media and how terrible the Internet has gotten — especially commenters. (In case you haven't heard, people who write things online can be mean.) The message has a bunch of points, but the upshot is that Parker desperately wants your approval. So why don't you just say something nice about the whole affair so we never have to hear about Parker's "tasteful" nuptials again? 

But, the problem may be that he Parker overestimates the importance of weddings. While he and his now-wife took two years planning their "sacred" event, he complains he didn't hear much praise afterward from his guests. "If our friends were sending us congratulatory messages, we never saw them. If Alexandra’s friends were complimenting her choice of wedding dress, she missed those messages," he says. "Indeed, if anyone was saying anything nice about our wedding, it was completely lost in the noise, drowned in the sea of hateful, spiteful messages." But that just tends to be the nature of weddings: they are obsessed by those who plan them (obviously) and are enjoyed by those who attend them (or in the case of celebrities, gawk at them), but they are mostly forgotten the day after. Quick: recall a wedding! Our guess is that it's probably your own (if you're married), the last one you attended, or a Royal Wedding. 

You see? He just wants approval, guys. So, what do you think? How about it? You don't want another nearly 10,000-word diatribe about from a guy "cursed with celebrity" do you? 

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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