Apple's looking for a writer to give its cyborg assistant more "character."
Q: Siri, why are you so boring?
A: I'm sorry, Megan, I didn't quite catch that.
Q: I just asked -- Siri, why are you lifeless?
A: Do you not know, Megan, that I am an automaton?
Q: Yeah, I know that, but, I mean -- Siri, why are you so boring?
Siri, Apple's "virtual personal assistant," is many things: a voice in the digital wilderness, a font of useful information, a connection between the physical world and the digital, a politely obliging ladybot. One thing Siri is not, however, is scintillating. Siri will gladly find you the nearest non-Starbucks coffee shop, or direct you to that Korean BBQ place on 16th Street; she will less gladly, however, accommodate you with witty repartee.
And that is because she can't -- because Siri, bless her, doesn't do banter. Your iPhone, for better or for worse, is no Dorothy Parker.
That could be changing, though. Because Siri, bless her, could be getting a speechwriter. As the blog 9-to-5 Mac reported, Apple recently posted a job announcement for a "writer/editor" for Siri -- a listing seeking someone to "develop and write original dialog to support new Siri capabilities." From the sounds of things, Apple is seeking that someone in order to, essentially, re-write Siri as a sassy sitcom character.