A place to meet and consume crab-generated content from crustaceans like you.
Fresh off the news that GOOD Magazine is being transformed into a Reddit-wannabe for "social good," I would like to let you in on my new plans for this blog. I am thrilled to announce that I'm pivoting away from producing expensive content and reinventing myself as the leading social network for Caribbean hermit crabs.
These amazing creatures live on the tiny island of Carrie Boy Caw off the coast of southern Belize. We (I just hired an intern a few seconds ago via Twitter) believe we can help these creatures strengthen their communities, so that they can find more and better hermitages throughout their lives, which largely consist of eating eating overripe fruit, animal remains, and feces while stealing abandoned shells and looking creepy.
We were drawn to this lucrative demographic by an article in Scientific American we read today while coming up with our business model that described the difficult situation that hermit crabs find themselves in. In previous years, most hermit crabs on the island "were living in shells that were a tight fit or had one too many holes." Naturally, these aspirational consumers were always on the lookout for "more spacious dwelling[s]."