Technology

The 10 Most Slack-Jawed Reactions to NASA's Moon Bombing

Pundits go agape at NASA's investigation into whether there's water under the surface of the moon

By Benjamin Carlson
Saved Stories
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At 7:30 this morning, NASA bombed--or rather, sent a probe crashing into--one pole of the moon to see whether ice lies beneath the surface of craters. If found, the water could be used to support human colonization. But to the disappointment of many watchers, there was no visible explosion at all when the spacecraft touched down.

Nevertheless, there's been a plethora of bizarre, animated, slack-jawed reactions.  Space stories are exotic fare in the world of plain-Jane political commentary, resulting in a bemusing mix of childlike wonder, moon-related quips, and paranoia. Here are some of the best, strangest attempts at straining for something to say:


  • Alfred Webre, The Examiner. "NASA moon bombing violates space law & may cause conflict with lunar ET/UFO civilizations"
  • TygerKrash "I wonder if the you could buy some moon property in the crater from http://www.lunarregistry.com/ then sue NASA?
  • Amy Ephron, Huffington Post. "If we'd just send up two guys with a bucket and shovels, we wouldn't have to bomb the moon at all. I'm not a big fan of explosions, anyway. In Iraq or Afghanistan or the South Pole of the Moon. But who does have a territorial prerogative there?"
  • Tatiana_Noel "The way we felt when they threw planes at us on 9/11 is how the moon men who drink the moon water feel now"
  • Xeni Jardin, Boing Boing. "The idea of blowing bits of the moon up bothers me, because I believe that the moon is not ours to blow up. Blasting synthetic craters on the lunar surface for the purpose of finding water or habitable land -- which we'd have enough of if we weren't screwing things up so furtively, back home -- just disturbs me."
  • Tim Cavanaugh, Reason: "Which moon resident are you hoping to see hit by the Centaur upper stage rocket: Martin Landau, Sam Rockwell, William Sylvester, or other?"
  • Juli Weiner, Wonkette. "Recall the moon's distinguished history: It has orbited around our planet, America, for the last ~2009 years, when Jesus Christ gifted all the celestial bodies, which he wrapped with the Constitution, to Thomas Jefferson & Ronald Reagan in Center City. Since then it has been everyone's favorite."
  • Ward, DefenseTech. "I have dibs on 'Moon Bomb' as the name of my next band."
  • BillCorbett "Take THAT, moon! Maybe you'll think twice next time before turning us into werewolves."
  • Lew Rockwell: "In 1902, Georges Méliè made this iconic film, drawing on Verne and Wells, about sending a rocket to the moon. Somehow it foreshadows the whole rotten NASA."
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.