This hardly seems sporting

On the right, the brave little USB memory stick of yesteryear, now retired.

On the left, the new, metal-clad, password-protected, online-backed-up, run-over-it-with-a-truck-and-it-will laugh, RSA-encrypted, programmed-to-self-destruct-if-you-enter-the-wrong password-too-manytimes, IRONKEY that is replacing it, kindly sent by a friend. That's the actual metallic ironkey in the middle, sitting on top of its explanatory brochure.

The USB stick is heard to say, "But I was pretty strong too! For my size."