This article is from the archive of our partner National Journal

We hope you've recovered after a long weekend of boozy brunches, because it's State of the Union night. President Obama may not be able to give proposals tonight that actually become law, but he can at least make statements that will help get you a little bit tipsy.

Editor's note: We encourage you to call this game off if the speech cracks the one hour mark, or if Rep. Joe Wilson starts shouting early. For your health.

ONE SIP if...

—Joe Biden nods approvingly at something Obama says—President Obama nods self-assuredly while the audience applauds something he says—Republicans don't applaud something that Democrats do—Obama praises the merits of a two-year college degree—Obama derides "tax breaks for millionaires"—John Boehner's office live-tweets a response to Obama's address in the form of Taylor Swift GIFs

    ONE GULP if...

    —Boehner subtly expresses his disapproval of something Obama says—Republicans reluctantly stand up a few seconds after Democrats give Obama a standing ovation—Obama is accused of lip syncing his entire address—Obama says, "The state of our union is strong"—Joni Ernst mentions her hog-castration experience in her State of the Union response

      FINISH YOUR DRINK if...

      —You can spot someone in the crowd taking a selfie—Biden winks and points at someone in the crowd—Boehner tears up—Obama appears to be chewing Nicorette gum, and/or offers a piece to Boehner—Harry Reid shows up to the chamber and proceeds to do 100 one-armed pushups—Obama attempts to work some hip teenage slang into his address, e.g. "bae," "turnt," "on fleek," "swag," etc.—A Duck Dynasty cast member is in attendance

        TAKE A SHOT if...

        —Someone in the crowd successfully takes a selfie with Obama (half a shot for Biden or Boehner selfies)—You spot someone in the audience asleep or falling asleep—The crowd hoists Obama on its shoulders after his speech and breaks into a chant of "USA! USA! USA! USA!" while carrying him out of the chamber—Biden and Boehner bro-hug—A congressman shouts, mid-speech, "You continue to lie!"—Dustin Hoffman bursts into the chamber and yells, "Elaine! ELAINE!"—Ruth Bader Ginsburg shows up in a Notorious RBG shirt—The chamber floor cracks in half to reveal a cesspool of swirling undead souls ready to feast on the flesh of Washington #thoughtleaders

          This article is from the archive of our partner National Journal.

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