This week over a million Californians surprised the world by signing a petition to put a billionaire venture capitalist's criminally stupid Six Californias plan on the ballot. But people familiar with the state's history of trying to tear itself apart weren't surprised. Californians — specifically, Republican Californians — have a long and embarrassing history of wasting time and money on poorly conceived attempts to make the state more manageable. Still, Tim Draper's idea to create six states, including an incredibly wealthy Silicon Valley, is probably the worst.
In fact, we were so sure this is the worst plan to partition California in recent memory that we decided to prove it. It is. Using a complex rating system based on the criteria below, we ranked the four major plots to divvy up the Golden State in the last few years: Six Californias, the State of Jefferson, Southern California and Coastal California.
Each plan can earn up to 40 points, with a total of 10 points awarded for each of the following categories:
- State Names: The general rule of thumb is there can only be two variations of the same name. West Virginia and Virginia. North Dakota and South Dakota. South Carolina and North Carolina. More than two and you're just being ridiculous.
- Cultural Cohesiveness: Are you grouping NorCal people with SoCal people? That's dumb. Or, translated into NorCal, that's hella dumb.
- Fairness: Is wealth evenly distributed? Or does your plan exile the poorest parts of the states?
- Honesty: If you're honest about your plan's true motives — creating a Republican state, creating an island of tech plutocrats – then you deserve a few points.