Former US Secretary of state Hillary Clinton's memoir titled 'Hard Choices' after its release on June 9, 2014 in Washington, D.C. National Journal

Of course, as this is about Clinton, we start with a conspiracy theory.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/bjjKyd1FDtxysTv/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.00.30%20PM.png}}

Hillary Clinton is a polarizing figure. So when she releases an autobiography, opinions on said book are going to diverge. This is especially true with her book release now, seeing as many are interpreting the media blitz surrounding the book to be a test run for a 2016 campaign.

On Amazon.com, as of this writing, there are 19 five-star, perfect reviews of Hard Choices. And then there are 44 one-star reviews. (The most popular line being "should be listed as fiction." Zing.) There are only six reviews in between those extremes.

It's amazing that this 656-page book was released just hours ago, and there are 69 total reviews. Speedy readers!

Compared with the five-star reviews, the one-star ones are a lot more, er, colorful. Here are the best of them. Some have been cut down for space.

Of course, as this is about Clinton, we start with a conspiracy theory.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/bjjKyd1FDtxysTv/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.00.30%20PM.png}}

Seriously, when do we find out who killed Vincent Foster?

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/r1kPUpeqIkroOT4/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.15.20%20PM.png}}

Doesn't really get the concept of a review. That is, commenting on a book you have actually read.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/VK5yjyuodtlzMgR/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.12.25%20PM.png}}

Disappointed that her autobiographical novel left out a section on her lies.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/3fwyBUPC1eFQUz7/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.22.11%20PM.png}}

This one is just plain unhinged.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/gwksZqvhG35VKC2/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.03.30%20PM.png}}

"Reading this book ... is like being stuck listening to your doddering aunt recount the list of the favorite cats she has had over the years."

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/mCKFgkbJfMqVyek/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.07.57%20PM.png}}

How could the reader not know the book is (probably) a 2016 launching pad?

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/tWF0wnMYdyTh7HY/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.19.33%20PM.png}}

Come on, puppies will pee on anything.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/c7GBu6UBFBm58m5/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%201.57.28%20PM.png}}

Seriously, when do we find out who killed Vincent Foster?

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/r1kPUpeqIkroOT4/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.15.20%20PM.png}}

Doesn't really get the concept of a review. That is, commenting on a book you have actually read.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/VK5yjyuodtlzMgR/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.12.25%20PM.png}}

Disappointed that her autobiographical novel left out a section on her lies.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/3fwyBUPC1eFQUz7/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.22.11%20PM.png}}

This one is just plain unhinged.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/gwksZqvhG35VKC2/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.03.30%20PM.png}}

"Reading this book ... is like being stuck listening to your doddering aunt recount the list of the favorite cats she has had over the years."

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/mCKFgkbJfMqVyek/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.07.57%20PM.png}}

How could the reader not know the book is (probably) a 2016 launching pad?

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/tWF0wnMYdyTh7HY/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%202.19.33%20PM.png}}

Come on, puppies will pee on anything.

{{thirdPartyEmbed type:animatedgif source:https://s3.amazonaws.com/uploads.hipchat.com/51655/350397/c7GBu6UBFBm58m5/Screen%20Shot%202014-06-10%20at%201.57.28%20PM.png}}

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters@theatlantic.com.