'Boats ‘N Hoes' is Dead; Long Live Bizarrely Named PACs
Now that the "Boats ‘N Hoes" political action committee has been abandoned (after a very short life), several other contenders will now vie for the title PAC with the Best Name.
.Now that the "Boats ‘N Hoes" political action committee has been abandoned (after a very short life), several other contenders will now vie for the title PAC with the Best Name.
The bookkeeper of a Republican consulting firm in — where else? — Texas made a truly ill-advised move by naming his political action committee "Boats 'N Hoes." Even if Shaun Nowacki, who registered the group, was just trying to be funny, the decision to name his group after the beloved Step Brothers song (which features such quotable lyrics as, "Deadliest catch, without the crabs, we're almost out of gas, call the Arabs"), couldn't have come at a worst time: a heated battle for the female vote continues in Texas, with the midterm elections drawing ever closer. Registered with the Texas Ethics Committee a mere 16 days ago, the PAC will be dissolved today.
As Catherine Thompson reported at Talking Points Memo, the Boats ‘N Hoes PAC caused a stir among Texas Democrats, as well as Republicans, over its "offensive" name, prompting both Texas gubernatorial candidates to issue statements. Texas Sen. Wendy Davis called the name "offensive to every Texas mother and daughter," while a spokesman for her challenger, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, said the name is “reprehensible.”
In honor of Boats 'N Hoes PAC (RIP), we went on the hunt for more absurdly named groups. None, we must admit, quite meet the same level of ridiculousness.
If He Votes Like That In Salem Imagine What He Will Do in Congress
In what is perhaps the most bizarre PAC of the election cycle, two wealthy donors — Loren Parks (who the Oregon Oracle refers to as a “part-time sex hypnotist”) and Andrew Miller — have come together to fund a PAC solely to keep Oregon State Rep. Jason Conger out of the May 2014 GOP primary for U.S. Senate. They’ve raised nearly $110,000 so far.
Bearded Entrepreneurs For the Advancement of Responsible Democracy
Based in Missouri, the group (B.E.A.R.D.) hasn't spent any money on candidates so far. It does, however, have a grand total of $52 cash on hand with which to spend wildly. But will interest begin to wane now that we as a society have reached ‘peak beard’?
National Draft Ben Carson for President Committee
Relatively successful, it has raised more than a million dollars and had its own booth at CPAC. A small group of people are feeling optimistic about neurosurgeon Ben Carson's potential run for office, despite the fact that he said Obamacare is the worst thing to happen to America since slavery.
Arkansas Horse Association
The Arkansas Horse Association is also registered in Texas. In fact, there's a Horse Association PAC for every state. With zero point zero zero dollars spent in this election cycle, Arkansas' is probably waiting until equine issues become the centerpiece of anyone's campaign, anywhere, at which point they are ready to spring into action.
Americans For More Rhombus
Also out of Texas, this PAC has raised no money and is therefore a RINO: rhombus in name only. [Ed. – Groan.]
Exposing Marxists
Considering that the Chicago-area PAC still hasn’t donated or received any money, it suggests there aren’t any Marxists to expose. Executive Director Joe McCarthy was unavailable for comment.
Why Not ZoidPAC?
This Internet-friendly PAC is based on the ubiquitous Why Not Zoidberg? meme, in which the pink, lobster-esque 'Futurama' character offers himself as the solution to any and all problems. They’ve raised $6 so far. And why not?