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Attention, media: Hillary Clinton will do things between now and 2016 that 1) may not warrant media coverage and 2) may not be related to running for president.

It is February 2014, some two years before presidential primaries begin in earnest, but apparently Clinton buying clothes means that she is running for president. Ha ha, you say, you are being hyperbolic; no media outlet would suggest that. Wrong again, reader! Meet the New York Post:

Hillary Clinton went on a private shopping spree at Bergdorf Goodman early Tuesday morning, sparking further speculation that she’s suiting up for a 2016 presidential run.

Please note: That speculation is not reported by the Post, just that it exists. This is the tabloid's gossip page, mind you, but still. It's almost as though they wanted to write a story about Clinton using a personal shopper at a fancy department store while reminding people that she will probably run for president as an anti-income inequality Democrat.

Last month, BuzzFeed was surprised to discover that long-time Clinton aide Phillippe Reines thought their questions about the candidate didn't warrant a serious response. "Has [Clinton] used Facebook?" and "Has she ever eaten Chipotle?" prompted only sarcastic links to other sites, like the entry page for Pulitzer Prize submissions.

Hillary Clinton went to Harlem. Hillary Clinton would beat Sarah Palin in Alaska. Hillary Clinton might run or she might not. Hillary Clinton might run or she might not but if she does, here's how she'll need to do it. Hillary Clinton is already doing the wrong things. Hillary Clinton had the most effective Super Bowl ad. That one was by me; how can you resist these stories?

All of those, by the way, are from this still-young month. What's interesting is that the daily average of Hillary Clinton stories over the past 18 months has been pretty consistent. There was a big spike in January, but according to a search of American media on Nexis.com, interest in Hillary has been pretty consistent.

Or, another way to look at it: Interest in stories about Hillary is always high. Meaning that if you rolled your eyes at a story about Clinton buying clothes two years in advance of appearances in Des Moines, imagine how insane the media (we) are going to get. Though if Clinton plans to campaign in outfits that are two years out of style — well, that kind of is news.

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