It's been a great week for penis puns, but guys, it's time to stop. No more dick jokes. Seriously. Stop. We're trying to work here.
It'll be hard, we understand. Sometimes the specifics of a story are so perfect the headlines practically write themselves. That's been the case this week with the resurrection of Anthony Weiner's dick pic sexting fiasco. As John Oliver put it on The Daily Show, his name is "so perfect for the scandal he was caught up in that it rekindled my faith in God." Weiner sexting weiner pics is too good. It's a gift, and all of us — the media and Twitterati — have been having a ball. Even The New Yorker weighed in, using the most phallic symbol in New York to depict the ego of the city's most phallic politician. But the truth is, Weiner jokes stopped being clever in 2011, maybe before. The puns that were funny and original have already been told, and the ones we've been left with don't measure up. So let's all agree to move on. Please.
Let's cool it with the Weiner headlines...
Imagine if Christmas came early, you inherited a billion dollars and you won the 20 years of free Chipotle burritos contest, all in one day. Maybe then you'd know a fraction of the joy felt by whoever's job it is to write headlines for the New York Daily News and the New York Post. Stories like this are the reason the Post and the Daily News exist. So we forgive them for going overboard, especially when they give us covers like this:
But even the tabloids lack consistency. Earlier this week Vanity Fair noted that Wednesday's headlines came up short. "“Beat It!”? Shame on you, Daily News. And, you New York Post! “Meet Carlos Danger”? That’s not even a pun, merely a straightforward reference to something that actually happened." Where's the gal who wrote "Weiner's Pickle" for the Daily News? Or the guy who came up with "Weiner Exposed" for the Post? We like to think they went on to do better things, but they were probably just spent.