Congratulations to Montana's Jon Tester, the latest Democratic senator to clamber onto the back of the gay marriage train as it leaves the station. (And here we were convinced it was too late to do so.) In the spirit of encouraging the senator's embrace of already popular/inevitable things, we've gone ahead and compiled some other things he might want to look into.
The list below was inspired by this tweet:
At this point, announcing your support for gay marriage is like becoming a fan of The Wire during the fourth season. livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/jon-test…— Elon Green (@elongreen) March 26, 2013
This is good advice! The Wire, for those who might not know, is a television show about Baltimore. It was so good that it was never even tainted by winning an Emmy. It is about drugs and also society. If Jon Tester came out in support of The Wire, it would show the world just how eager he is to embrace popular trends.
The Miami Heat
Since Montana doesn't have a professional basketball team, we might recommend that Tester join up with fans of the Heat. One of the nice things about becoming a Heat fan is that they haven't lost since February 1 and may never lose again. And when you root for a sports team, all of the concomitant glory from its victories rubs off on you, that's how it works. (We would recommend against rooting for the University of Montana for that reason.)
Please note: This is not a reason to root for the New York Yankees, who should not be rooted for under any circumstance.
Not to judge based on appearances, but there are even odds that Tester is not familiar with the work of Mr. Timberlake. No reason to wait another second! Just because Timberlake has been all over TV and the radio for weeks on end, reveling in the embrace of millions of Americans shouldn't offer a reason for Tester to hold back. The timing couldn't be better! Becoming a JT fan (that's what some fans call him, "JT") reinforces that, hey! You're cool, too! Also: same initials.
This one is a gimme. Jon Tester should become an over-the-top, hyper-enthusiastic fan of video games. "Man," he can say to his colleagues in the Senate, "I was playing a great video game yesterday!" No need not identify the video game; they won't know about it anyway. But in one move, boom. Jon Tester, part of the new generation of America that plays video games. (Warning: Do not say you play Grand Theft Auto because that game is about sex.)
Maybe wear a Miami Heat hat.
Drones shouldn't be used to kill Americans in America
Since Rand Paul got that ball rolling a few weeks ago (maybe a month?), the moment is perfect for Tester to embrace this concept. Maybe have a mini-filibuster outside the Capitol? Lots of options. And don't worry — polling shows that Americans agree with you on this one.
Jon Tester should use Twitter if he doesn't already. No, wait, not Twitter. The other one. Tumblr. There are millions of Tumblrs out there, meaning that the water temperature is perfect.
That's just a list meant to get the ball rolling. There are many more increasingly popular things to belatedly express enthusiasm for, to be sure. The following things, however, are far too "edgy"; avoid them:
- Proposals for additional holidays
- Sports cars
- Non-manual retweets
- General recognition that human rights should extend to all citizens regardless of sexual orientation, identity, race, or gender
- The "new" Pokemon
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.