Watch Joe Biden's Afternoon Swearing in (and Frisking) the New Senate

You could tally all the "Crazy Uncle Joe" things Joe Biden has said as vice president, or you could just tally all the weird uncle things he said... on Thursday afternoon.

You could tally all the "Crazy Uncle Joe" things Joe Biden has said as vice president, or you could just tally all the weird uncle things he said... on Thursday afternoon. Biden swore in the new senators of the 113th Congress, giving him an opportunity to tell slightly off-color jokes to senatorial spouses and whisper pretty suggestively into the ear of senatorial moms.

North Dakota Sen. Heidi Heitkamp: "Spread your legs, you're going to be frisked." Biden said this to Heidi Heitkamp's husband in an apparent reference to the photographer telling them to drop their hands. "You say that to somebody in North Dakota they think it's a frisk. They think you're in trouble right?" After the group broke its pose, Biden admitted, "I'm a little too formal, I know."

South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott: "If you ever need any help on your pecs, let me know," Biden said to Scott's very physical fit brother. "Look at that guy. He's still working out."

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz: Biden bent down to hold one of Cruz's daughters, who immediately started crying. "It's a Democrat, I know, but it’s okay," Biden said. After that photo, he helped round up the extended Cruz family for another shot, and began whispering jokes to Cruz's mom (as seen below). I couldn't tell what he said — "They vote for me"? "She may vote for me"?

Maine Sen. Angus King: The Weekly Standard feels Biden let his hand linger way too long on Mrs. King's back: "Biden's hand remains on King's wife, Mary Herman, for at least 20 seconds, moving down her back and to the side of her chest."

Of course, if Biden were just some guy at a party, you would think King might actually be annoyed.