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While reporters grilled accountants to speculate about what might be in the tax returns Mitt Romney refuses to release, Jon Stewart at The Daily Show already knows: Romney found unique ways to store money he couldn't put in offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, and that island from Lost. One: "Off ground funds: Hover Money," a game show-style cash blowing machine where money never touches American soil long enough to be taxed, better than an older idea of hiring people to juggle it. Two: He bought a town in America, moved a bunch of Swiss people there, and then "stuffed money up their asses, because the insides of Swiss people, also technically Swiss soil, [are] immune to American tax law." How does he get the cash out? Swiss pinata. "That's right folks, I'm saying when MItt Romney needs money quickly, he beats a Swiss person until they break open. At least according to the tax papers we have."

 

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