This article is from the archive of our partner .

While reporters grilled accountants to speculate about what might be in the tax returns Mitt Romney refuses to release, Jon Stewart at The Daily Show already knows: Romney found unique ways to store money he couldn't put in offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, and that island from Lost. One: "Off ground funds: Hover Money," a game show-style cash blowing machine where money never touches American soil long enough to be taxed, better than an older idea of hiring people to juggle it. Two: He bought a town in America, moved a bunch of Swiss people there, and then "stuffed money up their asses, because the insides of Swiss people, also technically Swiss soil, [are] immune to American tax law." How does he get the cash out? Swiss pinata. "That's right folks, I'm saying when MItt Romney needs money quickly, he beats a Swiss person until they break open. At least according to the tax papers we have."


This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to