Joe Biden's Bin Laden Mad Libs

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Joe Biden's best line in the 2008 Democratic primary was that Rudy Giuliani's entire campaign was "a noun, a verb, and bin Laden 9/11." In the vice president's foreign policy speech Thursday, he attacked Mitt Romney as being unable to match President Obama's decisiveness as commander-in-chief. In doing so, he said "bin Laden" 12 times.

We expect "a noun, a verb, and bin Laden" to be a significant block of Biden's speeches from now until November. To give his speechwriters a little break, we've created Biden's bin Laden Mad Libs. 

Three and a half years ago, when President Obama and I took office, and __(past tense verb)__ into that Oval Office, our __(noun)__ had been engaged in two __(plural noun)__ for the better part of a decade.  __(Noun)__  was __(adjective)__ and Osama bin Laden was __(adjective)__...

If you’re looking for a bumper sticker to sum up how President Obama has __(past tense verb)__ what we inherited, it’s pretty __(adjective)__:  Osama bin Laden is __(adjective)__  and General Motors is __(adjective)__...

But I think nothing speaks more __(adverb)__ to the differences between President Obama and Governor Romney than one of the defining __(noun)__ in the past __(number)__ years, the __(noun)__ for Osama bin Laden.  In 2008, while campaigning for the __(noun)__, Governor Romney was asked what __(noun)__ would __(verb)__ about bin Laden. 

Let me tell you exactly what he said, and I quote.  He said, “there would be very __(adjective)__ increase in __(noun)__...",  then he went to say, “if Bin Laden brought to __(noun)__.”  ...

He then went on to say, “it’s not worth moving __(noun)__ and __(noun)__, spending billions of __(plural noun)__ just to __(verb)__ one person.”

Here’s how __(adjective)__ Obama answered that question.  He said, “If I __(verb)__ Osama bin Laden in our __(noun)__, I will __(verb)__ him __(preposition)__.  I will __(verb)__ bin Laden.  We will __(verb)__  __(terrorist noun)__.  This has to be our biggest __(noun)__ priority."...

On this __(adjective)__ issue, we know what President Obama did.  We can’t say for certain what Governor Romney would have done.  But we can say that, unlike Governor Romney, the __(adjective)__ people believe, and I quote, “It was worth moving __(noun)__ and __(noun)__ to __(verb)__ bin Laden.”

I said before thanks to President Obama, bin Laden __(verb)__ __(adjective)__ and General Motors is __(adjective)__.  You have to ask yourself, if Governor Romney had been __(noun)__, could he have used the same slogan –- in reverse?  People are going to make that judgment.  It’s a __(adjective)__ thing to __(verb)__ on.

Update: As a commenter notes, Biden said "a noun, a verb, and 9/11" -- not "a noun, a verb, and bin Laden." Our apologies. But the  theme is the same.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.