The 'Kill Romney' Plot Thickens

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As the Republican primary season rumbles on, there can only be more campaign ads. Which ones succeed? Which fail? In Ad Watch, we review them as they come out. Today: Romney fights off his attackers and Ron Paul distinguishes himself.

The Ad: Mitt Romney, "Kill Romney?"

The Issues: Attack ads, fighting back, Apple products

The Message: Romney, as we know, is tearing through the primaries, handily winning everything (except Iowa, South Carolina, Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri) and the Obama campaign is afeared. Meaning they have to step up their "Kill Romney" strategy. You remember that official strategy, made official that time the word "kill" was offhandedly said by one staffer back in August. So these Obamadrones are taking to their trendy, liberal Apple products and talking all liberally and evilly on iChat about how they need to step up their game in the face of the all-powerful Mitt Storm. Meaning you, all you many Mitt lovers (Mmm... Mitt lovers pizza...), need to donate now to fight back. Because we have no idea what this terrifying "next level" of attack might be. Might they actually kill Mitt Romney? No! Hahaha, of course not, no one's suggesting that. But, y'know, if you want to get scared into thinking that and feverishly donate to prevent that from happening, then by all means go ahead and do so.

Who It's For: The aforementioned Mitt lovers, scaredy-cats, PC users.

What Everyone Else Thinks: Ew, a white iPhone? (Kidding, white iPhones are fine. Sort of.)

The Effect: Though all the computer stuff is silly, it's not entirely inaccurate. Those Obamanauts really do use iPhones a lot probably! In bolstering the idea of an unstoppable Mitt tide, it's mildly effective, though maybe a bit arrogant. Maybe best to save this kind of thing until things seem a little more certain. B

The Ad: Ron Paul, "Three of a Kind"

The Issues: The sameness-in-badness of the other candidates, their fearsome liberal policies

The Message: Newt Gingrich is a lobbyist hypocrite. Rick Santorum is a "counterfeit conservative" who opposes right-to-work and funded Planned Parenthood. (Yes, nothing conservative about Planned Parenthood-loving Rick Santorum, that's for sure.) And Mitt Romney is some sort of RINO weirdo who we can basically blame for commie healthcare. Thus the only rational choice is Ron Paul, who will never allow a tax ever again and is "pro-life" and "guided by faith." So you get your libertarians satisfied and your social conservatives happy, all in one fell swoop. A pretty handy deal.

Who It's For: Republicans who are unhappy with the three frontrunners (though, at this point calling Gingrich a frontrunner is unnecessarily generous) and still, still don't seem to know that kindly old Ron Paul exists.

What Everyone Else Thinks: These people would actually eat each other alive if that's what the pundits demanded, wouldn't they?

The Effect: One begins to get almost a little sad watching Ron Paul constantly jumping up and down raising his hand saying "Over here! Over here!" So that's too bad. His libertarianism seems to clash with this kinda put-on social conservatism (though, yes, he's always been anti-choice), so that kind of sits uncomfortably. But all told, yeah, he hammers home some actual points about the other three guys while smartly trying to endear himself to two factions of the right. B+

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.