With all the nightmare political debates and Kardashian divorces and everything else conflicted and terrible going on in this country (let alone the rest of the world! the rest of the world is too big a place to consider right now) let's just all try to have one day of peace. Sure it might be a pursed-lipped, strained peace. But it's peace.
In that spirit, sort of, the anti-marriage equality movement's crown harpy queen Maggie Gallagher has made a new video for all of you, instructing you how to politely handle the topic of same sex marriage -- meaning how to genteelly assert that you are not a bigot because you think gay people should be denied the right to legal marriage -- should it come up at the dinner table. She makes jokes about pie! How darling. Sure the video isn't terribly helpful, and is maybe y'know a bit pointed! and offensive!, but there is maybe some small message of good in the otherwise unpleasant endeavor. Namely: Let's try not to fight this Thanksgiving, OK? Yes, Uncle Bernie is going off about the government taking over health care while he's covered by Medicare, and of course Cousin Wendy is probably insane and should be in a home somewhere, and your mom still, still!, seems angry that you didn't go to law school. But forget about all that. Just for the one day. For 24 hours. That's all.
We're not saying forsake and abandon your beliefs just because it's turkey time, we're simply saying that nothing is going to get accomplished tomorrow. Everything's closed after all. So why not just avoid getting into it when Uncle Bernie starts barking about the "Spendocrats"? Or, hey, try letting Cousin Wendy tell you all about her prayer scrapbooking meetings without rolling your eyes once. Or hell, maybe even concede for once that maybe your mom was sort of right about your apartment in the city being a mess the last time she visited and maybe she isn't constantly trying to "fix" your life, maybe she just wants you to live somewhere nice, that's all. It's one day! You can do it!
Even the Indians and the Pilgrims made peace for a day, right? Back in 1066 when they signed the Magna Carta? We're pretty sure they did. And then the next day they went back to brutally murdering each other, which means you can too. So take note from the ghoul that is Maggie Gallagher. Don't use her talking points about same-sex marriage, because they are doublespeak nonsense, but do, at least, try to go into the holiday believing that not every thing, not on every day, has to be a fight. You're likely not having Thanksgiving with Maggie Gallagher -- though if that is the case may we suggest you fake sick and stay home eating pie out of a can instead? -- but if there is some person in your family (or group of friends! it is the '90s!) who rankles you the way she rankles us, just try to keep a cool head and breathe through it tomorrow. Or, if you must, use your phone under the table to surreptitiously complain about it on Twitter. That's probably good enough.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.