A recovering gossip columnist on the spring's bumper crop of political scandals and juicy stories
These are tough times for a recovering gossip columnist.
In the past month alone, while toiling in solitude on my first book, I've left to other writers, bloggers and talking heads the ceaseless task of dissecting this spring's bumper crop of political scandals and juicy stories: Rep. Anthony Weiner's full-frontal, cyber-sexcapades, including an allegedly not indecent exchange with a 17-year-old high school girl and a stab at rehab to become a "better husband and a healthier person" after a tortuous cycle of lying, denying, crying and defying Dem leaders who want him bye-bye-ing; former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's belated confession that he sired a son with a trusted family housekeeper years before seeking office, thus turning Maria Shriver into another grievously betrayed Kennedy clan wife; former House Speaker Newt Gingrich's six-figure Tiffany debt listed on third spouse Callista's financial disclosure statement, which surfaced weeks before the implosion of his White House campaign and finger-pointing at Mrs. Gingrich for insisting they take a very pricey Greek Isle Cruise rather than campaign in those tedious early states; thrice-wed IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn's long history of consensual and predatory sex, capped by criminal allegations of attempted rape of a hotel maid; and two-timing, two-time presidential candidate John Edwards's indictment, charging him with campaign finance violations in a scheme to hide and silence mistress/baby mama Rielle Hunter, who bore his love child as wife Elizabeth was dying of cancer.
To be sure, these men are just the latest in a seemingly endless bipartisan parade of lust-busted public servants. But it's a good bet that by, say, the Fourth of July -- or maybe even next Friday -- yet another narcissistic official whose brain has drifted groin-ward will get caught committing an inexplicably stupid, arrogant act that sullies the office and humiliates the family.