David Hedrick lost his bid to become the Republican candidate for Washington's third congressional district earlier this year. But that blow must be softened by the knowledge that the Tea Partier clearly has a long career in publishing ahead of him. The Portland Mercury's Dave Bow handed over $20 for Hedrick's graphic novel, The Liberal Clause: Socialism on a Sleigh, and what a steal it was. The Liberal Clause is sort of like The Nightmare Before Christmas, but for conservatives, with a dastardly Liberal Claus stealing Christmas--even though he can't even prove he's from the North Pole!
Hedrick told Bow that the idea "came naturally one night as he was making up a bedtime story for his children (the book is dedicated to them with the warning 'Never forget that free goodies from liberal elves often come at a price')." Basically, Liberal Claus tricks "the elves that there is a secret Liberal Clause (with an "e") in the Christmastution that allows him to do whatever he wants. The elves are fooled by this because schools in the North Pole have all stopped teaching the Christmastution long ago. ... Liberal Claus deems sleigh companies too big to fail, gives them money and forces them to make poorly constructed "green" sleighs. All other churches close and the elves are forced to attend Liberal Claus' church, one overseen by the North Pole-hating Reverend Blight."
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.