From the annals of annoying, unsolicited press releases comes word to my inbox from the publicist for one David Houle, a "futurist" who believes he has discerned an important--nay, a transformative--trend in the country. What is this important trend, you ask? Is it rocket jet packs so everyone can fly around and avoid traffic jams? Brain-implanted chips to allow telekinesis, or at least easier ordering at the drive-thru window? A dystopic future in which robots subjugate the human race?
No, that's not it. This is it:
Futurist David Houle sees that the stage is set and it is historically ripe time [sic] for the creation of a third party. All polling research shows that: [sic] despite shouting voices from the right (Tea Party) and left - [sic] the majority of Americans are loosely sitting in the middle or center [ed. note: How does one sit loosely?] Additionally, he envisions that the historians of 2020 or 2030 may well point to this period as a new beginning when Democrats and Republicans were marginalized. Therefore the viability of a true emerging third party will result in those that speak to the essential reasonableness and fairness of the American people and not to their extremism [sic, sic, sic, oh fuck it].
Really? THAT'S your futuristic insight?! That was worth spamming the world with a grammatically tragic press release? People have been noting this trend for years, if not decades. There are probably more people on the planet who have had this thought already than have not. Six months ago, my pet monkey mentioned that rampant partisanship might yield a viable a third party. As predictions go, this has to rank with "beware Greek debt" and "BP could be in for some trouble" as the lamest in the history of futurism.