This press release from the Voter Activation Network, which manufactures targeting software for Democrats: "Voter Activation Network to Launch New Technology For Republican National Committee." What? Couldn't possibly be. Why would VAN betray its Democratic roots?
Beat. Pause. Then I read the subhead.The architects of the DNC's "VoteBuilder" software will help the GOP bridge the technology gap with "VoteSuppressor."
Ahh... Vote Supressor, I get it. (The Dems want to build the vote; the GOP wants to suppress it...) The rest of the press release requires some technical knowledge of get-out-the-vote programs to understand, but it's worth a read for the Jon Carsons of the world.
VAN's core tools for amassing voter data and facilitating better communication will be modified to confuse voters about where they vote and whether they are eligible.
· VAN's powerful "Turf Cutter" tool, which helps users prepare walk routes by visualizing voters on a map, will also highlight the nearest luxury hotels and bondage-themed strip clubs.
· Friendly user messaging and warm Obama "Hope Glow" will be replaced with "Hell no, you can't!" theme.
· Every page of the system will feature a slick animation of RNC chairman Michael Steele making a different one of his trademark gaffes.
Voter Activation Network has reached a special deal with the RNC to allow them to place their entire new technology program on credit, inspired by the record breaking deficit spending of Presidents Reagan, Bush, and Bush.