Left to right: Reuters/Wikimedia Commons, Reuters/Reuters
Who says August is a slow news month? Who says the last two weeks before Labor Day are uneventful and unstirring? With apologies to the Nails, and
their classic song 88 Lines about 44 Women, here's a quick rundown on some of the big stories swirling around as we near the end of the summer holiday season.
Dominique at last may flee, he
for gay Paree
"Rescue Me," not much else I want to see
(Hum along to the tune)
Cyrus got a
, when New York's ceilings took to quake
Tiger's golf has
gone to seed
, hits his balls in to the moat
Indians, never be on their Totem Pole.
Ken at Interior
for mustangs, he's a rancher after all
Sarah's been too quiet lately, maybe
Maria on court will be grunting, but most don't care for play-by-play
Eric at Justice
saw some damage, when the quake hit hard that day
Andrew in London's having problems,
no one wants
to see his play
on poor Piers Morgan, is his hacking depo set?
Peyton won't be
, so young Eli's all poor Archie's got
on the mound, Detroit could use some happy sound.
is also gone
, to his songs we pitched and wooed
Nick Ashford, no mountain high enough for him
for battle, husband Clarence won't say boo
James from Okey he's a boomer, thinks global warming
is small beer
Alex just back from injury, Yanks
with this guy
Warren's patriotic about
, but BOA he just did buy
Charlize, Ryan Reynolds ain't playing fair
Maria Shriver, here's a kiss. I
to end this list.
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is a senior editor at
The Marshall Project
and a fellow at the Brennan Center for Justice.