First, I'll note that I've never liked the term "actress." We find "doctress" absurd, and with good reason. Acting is a profession, and I don't see why "actor" shouldn't be a gender-neutral term.

With that said, my favorite actor is probably Michelle Monaghan. Turns out she is funny and self-effacing as well as supremely talented.

To my chagrin, she is starring opposite Ben Stiller in The Heartbreak Kid. My sense from the trailers is that Monaghan's character is not crippled by profound self-loathing or deep-seated body image "issues" (e.g., the delusion that one's body is covered by an impenetrable layer of poisonous quills deadly to anyone but Ben Stiller, thus making physical intimacy with the non-Stiller population essentially impossible). So how exactly do you expect me to believe that she'd fall in love with Ben Stiller? The notion that any human being, or coyote or armadillo, could "fall for" Stiller defies credulity.

"But this happened in real life!," you object. And it's true, Stiller does have a wife. Do you have any solid proof that some kind of foul play or black magic was not involved? Perhaps Stiller called upon some sort of mystical runestone or magical flute to effect his nefarious design.

To use a favorite blogospheric turn-of-phrase, I declare the burden of proof to be on those of you who believe Stiller is not a dangerous necromancer who must be banished to the outer reaches of space. Take that!

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