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This contest is now closed. But enjoy!

(Click here to go directly to the winning entries.)

Fellow word lovers, let's have a ball!

To celebrate the inauguration of our Word Game contests, we've hired a caterer and a band. And as you can see, we've decorated the room with streamers. Now we just need some guests in costumes. Yes, folks, this means YOU!
Here's how to play: Come disguised as a character (real or fictional) and ask the band to play YOUR SONG. For example, one of us is coming as MARCIA CLARK and asking the band to play "ALL MY TRIALS." The other is coming as HUMPTY DUMPTY and requesting the tune "BITS AND PIECES."
Got it? Okay, pick out your costume and choose your appropriate song for the band to play.

--EC and HR

INAUGURAL BALL Contest Results

(All names without @ symbols are AOL screen names.)

Thanks, everyone, for a great dance party with a terrific variety of costumes and songs!

A few of our loudest laughs came from entries unprintable here in the august pages of the Atlantic (and under the wary eye of our TOS-minded AOL hosts). To those of you with naughty imaginations (you know who you are, you devils), we can only say: "ROFL, but no seegar!"

From the great number of costumes representing OJ Simpson, members of his family, and mavens of the legal profession, we gather there's some sort of big trial going on out there. What have we been missing? Maybe we should watch more CNN.

There were some duplications of nice ideas, along with some variations on the same themes. ForT2 improved on one of our examples by having Humpty Dumpty request "I Fall to Pieces." Both EmlyPostlt and P85 came as Isaac Newton and asked for "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree." "Do You Want to Know a Secret" was the theme song of Aldrich Ames as well as Benedict Arnold. "Splish Splash" was demanded by more than one Marat and/or Archimedes. "Fool on the Hill" was the song of half a dozen different government officials. And our hard-working house band was kept busy with many anatomical tunes requested by various Dahmers, Lecters, and Bobbitts. Of these, our favorite was from ATI2DD, who came to the dance as John Bobbitt and requested Sinatra's "They Can't Take That Away From Me." (We also liked the subtler "Try to Remember," sent by EdsMeName.)

Our three prize-winning entries are below, topped by CharlieZeb's tuberoid costume and accompanying tune. Each of the winnners will receive 5 free AOL hours, plus a book of his or her choice from the Atlantic bookstore.

The Grand Winners:

Mister Potato Head: "The Night Has a Thousand Eyes" (CharlieZeb)

Janet Reno: "We Didn't Start the Fire" (RevMJK)

Betty Crocker: "Beat It" (Libbster)

Very Honorable Mentions:

Hamlet, Prince of Denmark: "Did You Ever Have to Make up Your Mind?" (DaleRobert)

Dem. Party Chair Chris Dodd: "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To" (DaleRobert)

D'Artagnan: "Don't Fence Me In" (EmlyPostlt)

Helen of Troy: "Paris in the Spring" (EmlyPostlt)

Yankee mgr. Buck Showalter: "Sunday in the Park with George" (EmlyPostIt)

Mr. Magoo: "I Can See Clearly Now" (Scullysuz)

Benjamin Franklin: "Lightnin' Strikes" (Scullysuz)

George Washington: "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" (Scullysuz)

Mario Andretti: "Blue Bayou" (PFowler)

Dr. Richter: "I Feel the Earth Move" (PFowler)

Norman Bates: "M-O-T-H-E-R" (RevMJK)

Helen Keller: "Feelings" (RevMJK)

Michael Fay: "And the Beat Goes On" (RevMJK)

J. Edgar Hoover: "Devil With a Blue Dress On" (Bernsho)

Taster's Choice Couple: "Instant Karma" (QuipRosen)

Thor: "If I Had a Hammer" (MadMom2)

Gumby: "Bend Me, Shape Me" (DChiappisi)

William Tell's son: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" (Nysssa)

Pope John Paul II: "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" (Libbster)

Dracula: "Love Bites" (Pianist JDH)

Nancy Kerrigan: "On Bended Knee" (SaraBee190)

Bill Clinton: "96 Tears" (SSadler666)

Bob Dole: "Everything's Up to Date in Kansas City" (LaurasBook)

Dan Quayle: "Stop Making Sense" (Raviac)

The Invisible Man: "I Ain't Got Nobody" (AmesM7751)

Cinderella: "Footloose" (ATI2DD)

Charlie Chaplin: "The Sounds of Silence" (IjonTichy)

Yo-Yo Ma: "Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart" (MHwang)

The Cow that Jumped Over the Moon: "Sentimental Guernsey" (Mztlplx)

Elsie the Cow: "I'm in the Moood for Love" (Wkerby)--

Copyright © 1995 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved.