From another reader who was devastated by hers:
I recently had a miscarriage. One month and 19 days. I had no idea it was so common. Women I’ve told—and they are few—express that I can “try again,” that “medically at least you know that you can get pregnant,” or “you work in the health care field, so you know loss happens.”
All anyone talks about are the positives of birth and parenting when you announce. Miscarriage caught me by total surprise.
It would have been my first pregnancy. I’m still dealing with it emotionally and physically. I may not be bleeding anymore, but my soul is ripped wide open. I had no idea I was so fragile. I don’t know if I want to try again.
This reader and his wife did:
She had a miscarriage in early 2010. We’d only just started trying. At the first ultrasound, they told us the embryo only looked three weeks old. The followup a week later confirmed the pregnancy hadn’t taken. The OB/GYN recommended letting it pass on its own and a few weeks later my wife went through a couple of days of heavy cramping and some bleeding.
Her period didn’t return. Three months later, we were getting ready to go out when I heard a scream from the bathroom.