This reader didn’t have the best experience with non-monogamy:
I met a guy on OkCupid who told me he was polyamorous. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, so that was cool with me. He’d tell me about other women he was seeing, but he wouldn’t tell THEM about ME. I definitely didn’t want to be someone’s secret. (I did enough of that crap in my 20s.)
It became apparent that he basically felt obligated to be “polyamorous” because he seemed to think he was doing god’s work by having sex with multiple women. Granted, he was well endowed, but I also think he was lonely.
This reader, on the other hand, has had much better experiences with open relationships:
I thinks it’s important to note that, for many people (myself included), polyamory isn’t necessarily about filling a void or needing additional partners; it’s about being comfortable enough with your partner(s) that you can explore your additional friendships and relationships, wherever they lead. Sometimes that’s flirting, sometimes that’s more, and sometimes it’s just being able to have interactions with members of the gender(s) that you are attracted to without having to define it.
My partner and I meet up monthly with a polyamorous social group at a local restaurant/bar.