No One Is Working Right Now

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If you think anything is going to happen during the World Cup match between USA and Germany, scheduled for 12 p.m. Thursday, besides watching the game, you are a truly foolish person. Also, I have a bridge to sell you. 

Everyone is being as honest as possible about their plans to accomplish absolutely nothing while Team USA battles the Germans for survival in the 2014 World Cup. The world will come to a complete halt, more or less, during the game. At least 4.3 million people are expected to call in sick from work today with, ahem, unspecified illnesses, according to Visier, a workforce analytics company.

USA Today spoke with a number of companies who are abandoning any hopes for productivity and instead just watching the match live. "No question that people are going to be watching this game while at work," John Challenger, CEO of outplacement firm Challenger Gray and Christmas, told USA Today. "They're going to find a way to do it. There's too much interest and too much accessibility for people not to find a way to watch a game." Rather than fight against employees sneaking a stream on their computer while pretending to get work done, many companies are holding viewing parties instead, complete with pizza and beer, and giving in. (The Wire HQ is ordering pizza and live blogging the game; join us!)

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While most Americans will tensely root for Clint Dempsey and boys from the safety of American soil, some patriots in Brazil were doing their part to help out late Wednesday night. A group of dedicated USA fans stood outside the German team's hotel last night chanting, screaming and hollering as loud as they could, hoping to bother the German team while they tried to get a good night's sleep. Whether or not their efforts weakened the Germans or emboldened them to wallop Team USA without grace or mercy, remains to be seen. 

If you have one of the few bosses cruel enough to expect you to work during the game, you have our condolences. Now, you'll excuse us, we have a game to watch.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.