EPA Employees Won't Stop Pooping in Hallways

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Our sister site, Government Executive, has discovered a very strange phenomenon. It seems employees of the Environment Protection Agency in the Denver, Colorado regional office keep defecating in hallways. 

Government Executive obtained an email in which Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor discussed toilets clogged with paper towels (at least someone is using them) and "an individual placing feces in the hallway." It is unclear if the actual pooping happened in the hallway, or if it happened elsewhere and the feces were transported to the hallway after. 

EPA management is taking this very seriously. In fact, they have hired a national expert on workplace violence, John Nicoletti, as a consultant. Nicoletti determined poop in the hallway, be it transported or defecated in that location, is "very dangerous." He believes the perpootrator will "probably escalate" their antics if not dealt with. Now, the EPA is working to determine who is behind the fecal matter, and plans to "prosecute these individuals." 

EPA spokesperson Richard Mylott offered this statement to Government Executive:

EPA cannot comment on ongoing personnel matters. EPA’s actions in response to recent workplace issues have been deliberate and have focused on ensuring a safe work environment for our employees. Our brief consultation with Dr. Nicoletti on this matter, a resource who regularly provides our office with training and expertise on workplace issues, reflects our commitment to securing a safe workplace.”

We're not sure if the occasional hallway poo qualifies as an unsafe or violent work environment, but glad to see the EPA is taking this so seriously. 

Unfortunately, this isn't the first strange thing EPA employees have done. One contractor built secret caves in an EPA warehouse, another employee pretended to work for the CIA, and another thought his 9 to 5 was a perfect time frame for looking at porn. So, clearly the EPA has some quirky employees. But this poop situation is really taking things to the next level of weird. 

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.