Everyone agrees the U.S. Postal Service is a frustratingly lousy company, but Americans can take solace in the fact that mail delivery is pretty terrible everywhere. Especially in Canada, where things are so bad, they're getting rid of door-to-door delivery in cities altogether.
Imagine having to trudge all the way down your street to some monolith of metallic silver mailboxes just for some coupons from a pizza joint you never order from. Isn't that the worst? That's the kind of hell Canadians stare in the face now that Canada Post announced the end of door-to-door delivery in "urban areas" within the next five years. As a "cost saving" measure, of course. Never mind the cost to your sanity.
But could the mail service really be equally awful in both countries? Let's do a side-by-side comparison to see which neighbor gets the least from their post office.
Rising stamp prices
Canada: From 63 cents to 85 cents, if bought in a bundle, or you can buy an individual stamp for a dollar. A dollar for a single stamp.
(Dis)Advantage: Canada, because stamps were already too expensive. Remember: we're measuring which mail service is the worst.
Length of delivery
The U.S.: First-class delivery to anywhere in the country takes about two-to-three days, whether or not you pay the extra fee.
Canada: Delivery from Toronto, Ontario, to the country's east coast (roughly the equivalent of delivering from Los Angeles, California to Portland, Oregon) takes a week, minimum. Say you want something delivered way up north, to the Yukon territory? Better settle in and hope it doesn't get lost.
Waiting in Lines
The U.S.: Objectively awful. Easily the worst complaint about visiting the Post Office in person.
Canada: Actually not so bad.
(Dis)Advantage: America, but they do have more "customers" to keep (un)happy.
The U.S.: They almost cancelled Saturday delivery but then they didn't and now Jeff Bezos will probably deliver stuff, with drones, on Sundays, too.
Canada: "You get mail delivered on SATURDAYS?! What kind of Godless country do you live in?" asked every Canadian, upon hearing the news that Saturday delivery even exists.
At the end of the day, we can all agree that mail in Canada is undeniably worse than in the U.S. because it takes forever and a day to mail anything, there's no Saturday delivery, and stamps will cost a whole freaking loonie to not get your stuff on time. So the next time you go to the post office, America, and are about to become enraged after waiting in line for another round of rude service, just remember: At least you're not in Canada.