Manhattan is too loud. Brooklyn is overrun with vermin.
Yep, the clichés hold up when you overlay a map of New York City with each neighborhood's most common 311 (non-emergency call) complaints. NYU's Furman Center for Real Estate and Urban Policy has the map:
The strangest detail I found in the data set provided by the Furman Center? The second-most-common complaint in Stuyvesant Town was ... tax exemption. Weird. But objectively better than the second-most-common complaint from Fort Greene: rats.