The Great Anti-Shorts Crusade of 2013 Is Futile
Summer started weeks and week ago, but with a "large heat dome" (real weather term) hovering over the U.S. this week, we have started to experience the worst bona-fide nation-wide heat wave of the season, meaning, it's the most appropriate time to break out the shorts.
Summer started weeks and week ago, but with a "large heat dome" (yup, that's a real weather term) hovering over the U.S. this week, we have started to experience the worst bona-fide nationwide heat wave of the season, meaning that it's the most appropriate time to break out the shorts.
For some people, the idea of slipping on a pair of immodest leg-wear — even during summer's worst week of heat — elicits anxiety. That's especially true among the media set, known for its general pallor and love of the indoors. This morning, quite a few anti-shorts tweets went out from men who refuse to bare their legs. "Adult men should only wear shorts to the beach or while active," wrote Wired's Mat Honan, a declaration that was followed by a series of agreeing harumphs.
But that kind of complaining won't cool you off. The next few days will be so hot that you should really get over the whole too-cool for shorts thing and embrace bare calves over suffocating in full length pants.
Perhaps you don't want to take practical fashion advice from someone who, if not confined to a freezing cold office tundra, would wear shorts for the entire summer. Also, this seems to be a male problem, while I'm a female. Fine, then take it from noted shorts-at-work hater Choire Sicha, the editor of The Awl. In 2011 he told readers to never, ever wear half-pants to the office. He said he accepted the casual attire in certain situations, as long as the wearer doesn't "look like garbage in a garbage sack in a sea of other identical sacks of garbage." (Examples here.)
But even today, on a perfectly workaday Monday, he has (bashfully) donned a pair, according to a tweet.
I'm wearing shorts. #misandry— Choire Sicha (@Choire) July 15, 2013
In short, just give in. Even the fashion conscious, like Lucky magazine editor John Jannuzzi, reluctantly slipped a pair on this morning. For those who fear they might "look like garbage in a garbage sack," various fashion sites have run-downs of how to appropriately embrace the style (for offices that will permit the look at all).
If none of that is compelling, just look at these scary weather maps and ask yourself: Is pride worth it?
Because that is what a week long heat-dome will feel like when wrapped in a full-length blanket of chinos. Why suffer more than you already have to?