Forty-four states don't even allow gay marriage, but that hasn't stopped The New York Times from getting ahead of itself in reporting on the "trend" of same-sex male couples who are now being asked about their plans for raising children. "As lawmakers and courts expand the legal definition of the American family, same-sex couples are beginning to feel the same what-about-children pressure that heterosexual twosomes have long felt," Rachel Swarns' writes Friday, in a piece entitled "Male Couples Face Pressure to Fill Cradles." Swarns, opens with this anecdote:
When the jubilant couple were wed in June, they exchanged personalized vows and titanium rings, cheered the heartfelt toasts and danced themselves breathless. Then, as the evening was winding down, unexpected questions started popping up.
One after another, their guests began asking: Are you going to have kids? When are you going to have kids?
And that basically sounds like to the beginning of a terrible romantic comedy. Don't get us wrong: The Times has done as well as any paper covering the many facets, twists, and turns on the legalization of gay marriage in different states, but Swarns' piece, coupled with Brooks Barnes' cringe-inducing Sunday Styles piece, "For Some, the Beginnings of Gay-Wedding Fatigue," makes it seem like The Times' gay marriage reporters are fishing. How many more surprising premises can one paper use to draw attention on the irksome minutia gay Americans living in those 44 states where gay marriage isn't allowed only wish they had to complain about? And at the same time, these stories can make those gay couples who can get married seem almost unthankful, almost whiny. "It’s irritating, tiring," one half of a gay couple tells Swarns in reference to the pressure (not her trend story), while another jokes around that he wants kids "To shovel the snow and mow the lawn." Aside from those two quotes, Swarns talks to couples who basically didn't think they'd see the day when their families would be asking about their families, and think this "pressure" is actually really great. "It’s another way that I feel like what we have is valid in the eyes of other people," said one Matt Hay, who married his huband Tom Lotito in June--which is actually what this story, scary headline and all, might be really about.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
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