In this year's edition of their annual
gag very serious press release, the Department of Transportation has announced today that, as far as the Federal Aviation Administration is concerned, all systems are go for Santa Claus's flight across the world. The've done this in years past, but it's always fun to see the ways they try to dress it up with topical and modern language that turns it into sort of a self-mocking parody of their normal press release-speak. Witness:
Rudolph’s red nose features gumdrop-enhanced avionics to make it ten times brighter and easier to track, even in the heavy snowfalls experienced at the Pole ... In addition to keeping Santa, the reindeer and his important cargo safe, these improvements will allow Santa to fly the fastest, most efficient route, and that benefits children around the world as well as the entire North Pole community.
North Pole community! Nice touch. We'd probably think this was cheesy if it weren't nearing the holiday, but we're feeling extra non-Grinchy, today, so, well done, DOT, well done!
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.