Cast Your Vote Now! New Names for DHS

The wonderfully Onionesque U.S. Department of Fear, led by Secretary of Fear Malcolm P. Stag III, is running a poll. What should we re-name the Department of Homeland Security?

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Possibilities include Department of ScaredyCatLand Security, reflecting the prevailing mentality of an era, and Department of Fatherland Security, to make us sound strong. There are many more to choose from, plus you can write in your own nominees. But act now, because the polls close in two days.

FAQ about the the Department of Fear (@FearDept on Twitter), from its site:


"Without knowing what they ought to fear, US citizens might otherwise fail to support profitable national security initiatives."
- Malcolm P. Stag III, Secretary of Fear
DoF was established by an Executive Order signed by the Vice President in January 2004. The mandate of the agency is to promote fear in the interest of national security. 

This blog is operated as a public service of DoF. Its goal is to promote the agency's agenda and increase public awareness of DoF and its mission.

Our moto "Timendi causa est nescire" (ignorance causes fear), was bestowed by the Vice President.

 Also, after the jump, one of my favorite Department of Fear posts.

American iconography, DOF style: