Players: Tony Manfred, an intern at Business Insider and a 2011 graduate of Cornell; Peter Littleton, Ph.D, contributor to GQ and co-author of The Roger's & Littleton Guide to America's Douchiest Colleges.
The Opening Serve: GQ released their "10 Douchiest Colleges in America" feature last week--an exclusive excerpt from Littleton's Book. Colleges like Stanford, Penn State and Yale made the rankings, but Cornell took the top spot. Charges ran from tell-tale behavior...
Douchey Affectations: Wearing a forced smile that fades with each step up the frozen, wind-howling slope to classes all winter (October to May) while wondering if this is all worth it for an Ivy League degree lots of people don't even realize is Ivy League.
...to the campus mentality:
If You Could Read the Thought Bubble Over Campus: You know what I'm sick of hearing? That Cornell isn't really Ivy League! What the fuck! I paid my $160K! Don't treat me like I went to the University of Michigan. Honestly, is it because no presidents went here? Well, choke on this, you pretentious eating-club ass wipes: Janet Reno! Paul Wolfowitz! Alan mutha-fuzzin' Keyes (transferred to Harvard, '70)! Is it because all anyone ever talks about is how people go to Cornell and then kill themselves? It's a myth! Check the numbers! Or maybe you can't because you weren't required to take any math classes at Brown! Is it because there's a part of the school that's actually a state school, where you can get three faux–Ivy League credits for taking Maple Syrup Production and Beekeeping...
The magazine goes on to name alums (including fictional ones) from the school which contribute to the school's douchiness: Andy from The Office, Keith Olbermann, Ann Coulter, Adolph Coors, Jr. and Lauren Weisberger.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to firstname.lastname@example.org.