The New York Times Guide to Disney World on Drugs

One writer's lessons from smoking while touring the theme park: "Be ready to book it"

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This weekend, the New York Times magazine presents an enormous essay entitled a "Rough Guide to Disney World." If that bland heading sounds like a run-of-the-mill trend feature following one notable writer, John Sullivan, and his family as they haul from North Carolina to the theme park after nabbing discount tickets, well, it is. For the first couple paragraphs.

Then the author gets bored and decides to smoke a little pot at the behest of his long-time stoner friend, Trevor, and the real tour guide begins. It's an entertaining long-read, and one that deserves to be read in full. But here's a few passages we enjoyed:

  • On Learning That  People Do Get High and Tour Disney World

“I actually saw this thing on the Internet,” Trevor said, “where people were talking about getting high in the park.”He led me back inside and quietly cracked open his laptop on the kitchen counter. “Check this out,” he whispered. Only the two of us were awake....I was reading before I knew what I was reading, but it was like a chat room. Or a forum. “Forum” is the better term. A motif of cannabis leaves and naked women holding glittery buds ran down the left margin: a pothead forum. Trevor scrolled it down to a posting, the subject of which read, “Re: Hello from Disney World.”

  • What Disney World Is Like When You're High

Now we were truly at Disney World. A person didn’t come here every day! What is the scene here? Hello, primary colors; hello, quickly fading microdramas of passing human faces, incessantly deciding whether to make eye contact; hello, repeating stalls and gift shops. We were walking on the balls of our feet. The surface of things had become porous and permitted of the potential for enjoyment. Where were our womenfolk and Lil’ Dog? Let’s find them. Let’s be good fathers. Tomorrow was Father’s Day. Oh, my God, I didn’t even remember that!

  • On the Fascinating Things You Can Buy At Disney World

As if to put an exclamation point on his observation, I stopped and bought, for some obscene amount of money, two blue plastic sprayer fans. You’ve seen these? It’s a spray bottle, like you would use to spray water on your plants, but it had a little fan attached to the nozzle. The idea is you fan yourself and spray yourself at the same time.

  • On the Main Lesson For Those Trying To Smoke At Disney World

The main point was clear and consistent: “Be ready to book it.”

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.