You remember that boy named Sue? Well, here's a nun named Schmuck. From my dispatch in the new issue of The Atlantic:
IT WAS NOT UNTIL Sister Mary Schmuck left her home state of Kentucky for the Sisters of Mercy convent in Brooklyn, N.Y., a borough that operates under the influence of Yiddish, that she was confronted full force with the knowledge that a person with her family name faces certain regrettable challenges. "People would do double takes on the phone," she said. "They were deciding whether to laugh or say something or not." Many New Yorkers were forthright in asking whether she was playing them for fools. "I went to the terminal at LaGuardia one day, and there was a nice-looking ticket agent named Carlos-something--not a Jewish person--and he took my ID and said, 'You've got to be kidding.'" She said she told Carlos, "Young man, schmuck is German for 'jewel.' It is fine that you grew up in a Jewish neighborhood. I live in one, too, near Williamsburg. Please give me my boarding pass."
Please read the whole thing here. Unless you're busy.