"Listen up, California," Allysia Finley declares at the start of a recent Wall Street Journal column. "You're the Lindsay Lohan of states." It's an apt analogy, since, as with LiLo, it seems we're always hearing about California's troubles. Also, the state once starred opposite itself in a remake of The Parent Trap. As Finley explains, California is "a prima donna who once showed some talent but is now too wasted to do anything with it":
After enjoying ephemeral highs and spending binges, you suffer crashes that culminate in brief, unsuccessful stints in rehab. This cycle repeats itself every five to 10 years, as the rest of the country looks on with a mixture of horror and amusement. We'd feel sorry for you if you didn't constantly flip us the bird. Instead, we're making bets on how long it will be before your next meltdown. Oh, wait—you're already melting down ... Here's our final warning: When you inevitably crash and burn, don't count on us to bail you out.
While it's not surprising to read a Journal piece lambasting California's economic and political climate, it seems a bit strange that Finley would peg this attack to a Lindsay Lohan metaphor, since it was only a few months ago that Rebecca Macatee's thoughtful defense of the starlet appeared in those same pages. Nonetheless, the Wire recommends giving Finley's piece a read, possibly while listening to a classic like "Hotel Lindsay Lohan," or perhaps 2Pac's "Lindsay Lohan Love."
Pictured: Lindsay Lohan.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.