Liberals Hate Wood-Burning Fireplaces

AUTHOR: Dennis Prager at the National Review

LENGTH: 1658 words

UNDERLYING CONSERVATIVE PREMISE BEING REHASHED: Liberals like nanny states

NEW AND IMPROVED THESIS: "Liberals object to dodgeball, pin-ups, flirting, and even wood-burning fireplaces"

WHICH IS TO SAY: Liberals have "an antipathy to the little joys" of life

WHAT PURITANS HAVE IN COMMON WITH SOVIETS: The modern left is kind of like both of them

'LITTLE  JOYS' HATED BY THE LEFT: The new Burger King ad, "smoking, tag, dodgeball, soccer, touch football, even monkey bars," pin-ups, flirting at work, cars, wood-burning fireplaces, temperature control, nice lightbulbs, houses

EVIDENCE OF LIBERAL HATRED OF PLAYGROUND GAMES: "National Program for Playground Safety deem[s] games in which kids are 'running into each other' too dangerous," and schools have banned them

SIMILARITY BETWEEN LIBERAL CAMPAIGNS AND SOVIET PURGES: The Soviets removed Trotsky from photos; the left removes images of cigarettes from photos

LEFT'S EFFECT ON A 'JOY IN LIFE'--WORKPLACE FLIRTATION:  Sexual harassment policies have caused "the elimination of essentially all the fun ... of man-woman dialogue. ... At work, a man never knows what comment to what woman will trigger his being sent, as in Communist regimes, to a 're-education' program"

CONCLUSION:

Every poll on the subject has concluded that liberals are less happy than conservatives. There are many reasons for this, and given the importance of little joys to happiness, the Left’s religious opposition to many of them is surely one of those reasons. The problem for the rest of us, however, is that, like most unhappy people, many folks on the Left don't like seeing anyone happier than they are.