Tiger Woods = Obama, Al Gore, NYT
AUTHOR: Jeffrey Lord at The American Spectator
THESIS: President Obama is like Tiger Woods
EVIDENCE: 2 quotes and 2,871 words of exegesis and argument
"I felt I was entitled. I had worked hard. Money and fame made me believe I was entitled. I was wrong and foolish. I don't get to live by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me."
-- Tiger Woods
"I'm the President."
-- Barack Obama
CRYPTIC OPENING ARGUMENT: "Three words. Volumes of information."
TRANSLATION: Obama does not think rules apply to him--for example when taking up too much time in the televised health care summit.
OR, AS JEFFREY LORD PUTS IT: "In short, as with Tiger Woods and his woman problem, Barack Obama and his liberal allies have a superiority problem."
THE TRUTH ABOUT TIGER WOODS: "Contrary to the headlines, Tiger's real addiction was not to sex or women, it was to the cocaine of superiority, which in turn induces a sense of entitlement. To women, in Tiger's case, to political or media power in the case of the rest."
THUS, OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE TIGER WOODS: Bill Maher, Joe Klein, Jonathan Chait, James Wolcott, Chris Matthews, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Al Gore, John Kerry, "just about anyone at the New York Times"
THE TRUTH ABOUT THESE PEOPLE: They're condescending because they come from middle-class backgrounds themselves
CASE IN POINT: Keith Olbermann, whose parents were a teacher and an architect, and The New Republic's Jonathan Chait, who is a doctor's son
ALSO: "Here's a Ronald Reagan story"
ACTUAL ANALOGY: "This 'anti-Main Streetism,' to append a name to it, has effectively become the anti-Semitism of the self-designated intellectual."
ASSORTED POINTS ON THE STATE OF AMERICAN POLITICS*: The real reason liberals hated Nixon was his exposure of Alger Hiss, who went to Harvard; If Obama were so smart, he could have changed the South Side of Chicago; smart people caused Vietnam and the Great Depression; Nancy Pelosi is the daughter of an insurance salesman, who was apparently named Thomas, Vanity Fair's James Wolcott went to Frostburg State, and Frank Rich's dad owned a shoe store; Obama says the words "I'm the President" in "the style Tiger Woods employed with a Chinese menu of bimbos, porn stars and waitresses"; the president "has in fact no idea what he's talking about outside a few plays from Saul Alinsky"; Ronald Reagan wasn't too haughty to clean up a glass of water; and Chris Matthews is not "a mature adult confident in himself," which may be due to his starting his career "as a Capitol cop"
Just as Tiger was packed off to a sex addiction clinic, every poll out there suggests the American people are prepared to send the Tiger Woods of the White House to the "I'm So Smart" addiction clinic.
Otherwise known as an election.
*FOR REFERENCE, THE FULL CAST, IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE: Tiger Woods, Barack Obama, "the late House Speaker Tip O'Neill," "Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell," Ronald Reagan, Herbert Hoover, FDR, the Nation's David Moberg, Robert McNamara, historian Richard Hofstadter, Adlai Stevenson, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Napoleon Bonaparte, Ulysses Grant, Richard Nixon, Alabama Senator John Sparkman, Alger Hiss, William F. Buckley Jr., Bill Maher, Joe Klein, Jonathan Chait, James Taranto, John Podhoretz, Al Gore, John Kerry, "just about anyone at the New York Times," Barry Goldwater, Sarah Palin, Maureen Dowd, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Frank Rich, James Wolcott, Nancy Pelosi, Thomas D'Alesandro, Jr. (apparently Nancy Pelosi's father), Harry Reid, David Brooks, David Frum, Rush Limbaugh, playwright Saul Alinsky, "writer William Novak," "ex-Homeland Security Secretary and Governor Tom Ridge," a "writer named Larry Bloom," "Hillary Clinton and Lissa Muscatine, whom the New York Times identifies as the Clinton book collaborator," Winston Churchill, "Teddy Roosevelt," "the very smart but unpretentious Bernard Goldberg," Elin Woods, "the American people"