For years, we’ve been told that we should never put anything in our ears, especially a Q-tip. But I’ve been cleaning my ears with Q-tips for 25 years and I still hear perfectly fine. So this piece of advice is a lie. What else are they lying about?
R. D., Santa Monica, Calif.
Dear R. D.,
Everything. They’re lying about everything:
• Dolphins: friends of mankind
• A customer-service representative will be with you shortly.
• Kurt Cobain
• Brown-eyed women and red grenadine
• Delivering tax relief to high earners is critical to spurring investment, boosting consumption, and promoting strong economic growth. This increased growth will more than make up for lost government revenue.
• Dark matter
• “Global warming”
• It’s just a cold sore.
• The circumstances surrounding the death of Catherine the Great
• Air traffic in Europe was brought to a standstill by volcanic ash in the atmosphere.
• We’ll get married as soon as the divorce comes through.
• Giving content away for free on the Internet is a surefire way to achieve publishing success.
I read recently that people in Washington call the festivities surrounding the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner “prom weekend.” It sounds luxurious and expensive, with a lot of bejeweled celebrities present. As a Washington journalist, do you think this is an appropriate event, especially this year, after the mining disaster in West Virginia so strikingly exposed the differences between the haves and have-nots in our society?
J. L., Boston, Mass.
Dear J. L.,
It’s a well-known fact that the job of Washington journalists is to ignore the afflicted and comfort the comfortable. The correspondents’ dinner is in keeping with this fine tradition.
Every time I go to the supermarket, the checkout person asks me if I would like to donate an extra dollar for children with cancer. I want to support charity, but I don’t want to be confronted like this when I go shopping. What should I say?