I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve started an advice column, so maybe you can help me. I, too, write an advice column, for a prominent online magazine, and every day I get letters from people desperate for answers to life’s grinding problems: husbands addicted to porn; boyfriends who won’t brush their teeth; mothers-in-law who refuse to address their daughters-in-law by name; etc. So, Mr. Big Shot Advice Maven, tell me quick what instructions I should give these tormented souls—I’ve got a column to write. Also, why are men terrified of dishwashers?
Men are terrified of dishwashers because dishwashers cause impotence. To answer your other questions: it’s not the addiction that’s the problem, it’s forgetting to clear the computer’s search history that causes trouble; your boyfriend is a vegan and doesn’t want to harm any of the bacteria in his mouth; and isn’t not addressing you by name better than calling you “the tramp who ruined my son’s life”? If I can be of further help, please do let me know.
If your company adopts a business-casual dress code, is it okay to wear Hawaiian or tropical-print shirts during working hours?
New York, N.Y.