One of the first things to ask yourself when walking into a Japanese bath is, Am I Angelina Jolie? If the answer is yes, consider leaving. For a reason I’ll explain in a minute, most Japanese baths don’t let in people who are heavily tattooed.
The baths are known as onsen—hot springs. Japan being made up of volcanic islands, hot springs are plentiful. According to Anne Hotta and Yoko Ishiguro, the authors of A Guide to Japanese Hot Springs, if you visited one onsen a week, you would need more than 40 years to get to them all. Most onsen have associated inns, or ryokan, and the weekend trip to a mountain ryokan is as authentically and peculiarly Japanese as the August trip to the Mediterranean is authentically and peculiarly Italian.
Nonetheless, onsen can be intimidating. The Japanese are great at inventing complex systems of rules, and not so great at explaining those rules to foreign visitors. The onsen ban on tattoos is an example: it’s inexplicable unless you know that big, ornate tattoos are associated with the violent mobsters known as yakuza. More important, from the foreign visitor’s perspective, is the rule that cleaning and soaking are two distinct activities, and that baths are emphatically not for cleaning. Instead, you first go to an area outside the bath, where you sit on a little stool and wash yourself with fanatic thoroughness. Near the stool are a basin (fill with water, dump on self), a handheld shower (alternate use with basin), and big bottles of liquid soap and shampoo. The goal is to be so meticulously clean before climbing into the bath that you will not share any dirt with the other participants. If you fail to clean off, as I did the first time I went to an onsen, you will be rewarded by an unusual sight: half a dozen annoyed, naked people simultaneously exiting the water.
|Some rare instances of yakuza in the baths|
(Photo credit: Gideon Mendel/Corbis; Michael Rubenstein/Redux)
Almost all onsen have separate sections for men and women, although some have facilities where families can soak together. They may switch male and female wings from one day to the next, even from one hour to the next, perhaps to forestall any charge of favoritism. Which sex is currently occupying which space is indicated outside, with the character for man or woman. Visitors would be advised to learn those characters, and to check them every time. Failure to do so will have consequences as predictable as they are humiliating.