Volume 297 no. 1 / Jan.-Feb. 2006
Adelaide, princess, whooping cough of, 12
Aguilera, Christina, as melisma junkie, 196
Akkad, Moustapha, movie producer, as victim of jihad, 206; "professional schizophrenia" of, 207
Ali, Muhammad, as bargaining chip, 207
Anka, Paul, as "Smells Like Teen Spirit" interpreter, 196
Arioli, Susie, Canadian jazz singer, "yummy" voice of, 198
Auden, W. H., as teen idol, 156
Barnes, Julian, virtuosity of, 179
Barry, Marion, as hostage, 207
Bartoloni, Adriano, as papal paparazzo, 46
Bell, Alexander Graham, Canadian appropriation of, 194
Bennett, Tony, as MTV fixture, 195
Bergoglio, Jorge Maria, cardinal, as papal also-ran, 64-66, 89; as chemist, 89; as rider of the bus, 89
Bernanke, Ben, incoming Fed chair, scrutability of, 15
Bishop, Elizabeth, unpublished poems of, 126; Nova Scotian roots of, 192
Blume, Judy, as sex-ed teacher, 170-173
Brooks, Randy, Nova Scotia PR man, kilt of, 189
Brown, Louise Joy, first test-tube baby, birth of, 91, 133
Bryan, William Jennings, land-use prophecy of, 130
Buchanan, Pat, as culture warrior, 134
Buddha, Ohio residence of, 154
Buffett, Warren, as Cherry Coke consumer, 150
Bush, George W., prospective library of, 120-124
Bush, Jeb, as Vatican emissary, 91
Carey, Mariah, as melisma junkie, 196
Churchill, Winston, as savior of empire, 183; American mother of, 184
Clinton, Bill, moral obesity of, 154
Collins, Billy, star-spangled versifying of, 95
Comfort, Alex, joyful sexologist, as culture warrior, 132
Connery, Sean, as silver-screen Saladin, 206
Connick, Harry Jr., unfulfilled promise of, 197
Cooper, Anderson, as porn-star interrogator, 179
Copeland, Jo, fashion designer, parenting skills of, 169; sweatlessness of, 169
Cowell, Simon, on fame epidemic, 196
Cummings, E. E., star-spangled versifying of, 95
Dick, Philip K., as media critic, 12
Dickinson, Emily, star-spangled versifying of, 94
Dole, Bob, overripeness of, 154
Dukakis, Michael, as ground cover, 154
Dulles, Avery, cardinal, on desert nature of Quebec, 88
Edalji, George, Dreyfusian plight of, 179; as alleged pony mutilator, 179
Edward VIII, buttery likeness of, 183
Evers, Ridgley, on teenage olive oil, 202
Fawcett, Farrah, lackluster nurturing skills of, 169
Flynt, Larry, as Jackie O exhibitor, 46; as culture warrior, 133
Frank, Anne, as sex-ed teacher, 171
Freud, Sigmund, on erotic force of wonder, 22; exile of, 185
Frost, Robert, as JFK honoree, 62; star-spangled versifying of, 94
Gantin, Bernardin, cardinal, royal African roots of, 76
Garritano, Settimo, paparazzo, as undercover gardener, 46; as Jackie O pursuer, 46
Gehry, Frank, cookie-cutter cosmopolitanism of, 161
George V, dubious last words of, 184
Gielgud, John, Bedouin star turn of, 206
Gingrich, Newt, moral obesity of, 154
Gore, Tipper, anti-obscenity listening tour of, 133, 178
Greene, Graham, as Katrina forecaster, 145
Hamilton, Alexander, posthumous ruling of, 49; undemocratic impulses of, 144
Hamza, Luqman, jazz singer, top-shelf diction of, 198
Hardy, Oliver, Jamesian resonances of, 184
Hawthorne, Nathaniel, as war correspondent, 12
Hibbs, Mark, journalist, as nuclear gumshoe, 100-118; intense ordinariness of, 100; professional loneliness of, 102
Horton, Tim, as north-of-the-border doughnut-slinger, 193
Hutton, Barbara, as implicit conquerer of Britain, 187
Hyde, Anthony, as bard of Halifax, 192
Jahn, Helmut, Chicago architect, trademark cape of, 160
Jesus, as Anglophone, 155
John Paul II, as paparazzo target, 46; old brown shoes of, 64; Liberacean fashions of, 72; poor administrative skills of, 80; dubious last words of, 84; mosh-pit memorial of, 84; unclonability of, 90
Jones, Mrs. Bo Jo, as modern-day Hester Prynne, 172, 176
Jones, Norah, tepidity of, 197
Kasper, Walter, theologian, as "Kasper the Friendly Cardinal," 90
Katrina, hurricane, as Mardi Gras killjoy, 15
Kennedy, John F., as arts patron, 62
Khan, Abdul Quadeer, as fame addict, 98; as hotelier, 114; self-criticism session of, 116
Khan, Imran, Pakistani cricket star, on subcontinental celebrity, 98
Kipling, Rudyard, American wife of, 184
Krall, Diana, jazz singer, "endless legs" of, 195; Basingerian aspect of, 195; spotty rhythm of, 195
Lasch, Christopher, on meritocratic aristocracy, 145
Lauper, Cyndi, as jazz singer, 196
Laurel, Stan, Jamesian resonances of, 184
Lawrence, T. E., as IED innovator, 44-46
Lincoln, Abraham, as Atlantic endorsee, 57-58
MacNeil, Robert, NewsHour veteran, as Nova Scotia novelist, 192
Martini, Carlo Maria, cardinal, as papal also-ran, 64, 89; as Parkinson's sufferer, 89
Marx, Karl, as family man, 154; on globalism, 161
McFerrin, Bobby, unfulfilled promise of, 197
McGraw, Dr. Phil, "vast, impenetrable physique" of, 174; as oral-sex inquisitor, 174
Mitchell, Joni, as jazz singer, 196
Montesquieu, Baron de, as last resort, 58
Mosley, Sir Oswald, British fascist, fleeting popularity of, 185
Myers, Michael, Halloween villain, lost head of, 207
O'Neal, Ryan, as resentful father, 169; Oscar boycott of, 169; as boxing hobbyist, 169
Onassis, Jackie, nude sunbathing of, 46
Özakman, Turgut, as Michener of the Turks, 187
Page, Patti, as Woodstock headliner, 154
Pell, George, Aussie archbishop, as "Ratzinger's campaign manager," 81; trademark bush hat of, 81
Philbin, Regis, as jazz singer, 196
Pius XII, debilitating hiccups of, 80
Podhoretz, Norman, as Beat critic, 130
Qaddafi, Muammar, aborted nuclear program of, 115; as film financier, 206
Queen Latifah, as jazz singer, 196
Ramey, Phil, photographer, as "chopperazzo," 46
Ratzinger, Joseph, as Benedict XVI, 64-92; as buyer of light bulbs, 70; as feeder of stray cats, 70; Orangina intake of, 70; as sculptor, 92; as "man from a far country," 92
Ronstadt, Linda, as "singer zero" of jazz epidemic, 198
Roosevelt, Franklin D., as SEC godfather, 57
Roosevelt, Theodore, on "hurly-burly," 62
Roth, Philip, as culture warrior, 132; as sex-ed teacher, 172
Rowling, J. K., Turkish following of, 187
Ruditis, Paul, novelist, teen priapism posited by, 169; as Brady Bunch chronicler, 176
Ruini, Camillo, vicar of Rome, as papal also-ran, 64
Saakashvili, Mikhail, Georgian president, as Kennedy compadre, 149
Secchiaroli, Tazio, as ur-paparazzo, 46
Simpson, Wallis, as empire-wrecker, 183-184
Smith, Ali, novelist, as neither Zadie Smith nor Monica Ali, 173
Springsteen, Bruce, as vessel of public opinion, 155
Starr, Kenneth, as smut peddler, 176
Stern, Howard, as no match for Oprah, 174
Stevens, John Paul, as sub rosa chief justice, 48-49
Stevenson, Robert Louis, service ethic of, 204
Stewart, Rod, as jazz singer, 196
Stowe, Harriet Beecher, as Judy Blume forerunner, 170
Thoreau, Henry David, as telegraph skeptic, 12; metaphysical patience of, 22
Twain, Mark, respectable clowning of, 12
Victoria, queen, vicious grandson of, 183
Walz, Tim, National Guard veteran, as congressional hopeful, 40
Waugh, Evelyn, as social historian, 186
Whitman, Walt, star-spangled versifying of, 94
Williams, Vanessa, disgraced Miss America, abdication of, 133
Williams, William Carlos, star-spangled versifying of, 95
Wilson, A. N., on terminal unflappability of the British, 185
Wilson, Woodrow, as Fed architect, 57; on "capital fellow So-and-So," 58; on power of provincialism, 58-60
Winfrey, Oprah, oral-sex alarmism of, 173-176