Who's Who

A selective index to this month's issue

Volume 296 no. 5 / December 2005

Abizaid, John, as insurgency diagnostician, 68

Adams, Ansel, Windex and, 137

Affleck, Ben, poker habits of, 121

Alaïa, Azzedine, fashion designer, as "King of Cling," 116

Allen, Woody, projected immortality of, 105

Amis, Martin, Lolita test of, 131

Batali, Dean, TV writer, Winnie the Pooh collection of, 168; on need for "Christian Vagina Monologues," 168

Bellow, Saul, high school chums of, 78-80, 82; as father figure, 78-88; penmanship of, 82; faint praise of, 86

Bogart, Humphrey, as bully, 178

Bush, George W., fiscal profligacy of, 37-38; Iraqi army and, 60, 70, 74; on Kazakhstan, 100

Byron, Lord, Nabokovian entanglements of, 134

Castro, Fidel, literary unmasking of, 123

Catapano, Karen, as Long Island goat farmer, 174

Charles, Ray, airbrushed life of, 166

Chekhov, Anton, on internalized slavery, 138

Chirac, Jacques, book-length indictment of, 138

Clark, Dick, grudgingly accepted mortality of, 15; eternal tautness of, 15

Clinton, Hillary, on Grand Theft Auto, 129

Coffin, William Sloane, minister, as hostage emissary, 94-95, 97; CIA background of, 94; as grandstander, 97

Coogan, Jackie, as elderly child star, 178

Cordesman, Anthony, on Iraqi army myopia, 63-64, 66

DeLong, Brad, economist, fiscal-catastrophe projections of, 38

Derrickson, Scott, as Biola grad, 164; as Hellraiser V auteur, 166

Dumont, René, development agronomist, as Castro critic, 123

Duras, Marguerite, lost illusions of, 123

Ensler, Eve, absent Christian analogue of, 168

Express, Marie, prostitute, mysterious death of, 54

Fey, Charles August, as father of the slot machine, 121

Foster, Norman, architect, Kazakh "Palace of Peace" envisioned by, 98

Franks, Tommy, wandering attention of, 66

Freud, Sigmund, quackishness of, 133

Friedman, Bill, gaming analyst, on casino feng shui, 129

Fuentes, Carlos, lost illusions of, 123

Garland, Judy, premature middle age of, 178; Jolsonian dynamism of, 178; as Sinatra de-pantser, 179; troublesome son-in-law of, 179

God, accidental birth of, 105-112; Hollywood following of, 161-168

Grant, Martin, fashion designer, Aussie roots of, 116; grandmother of, 116

Gresham, Douglas, C. S. Lewis stepson, as script supervisor, 162

Guthrie, Stewart, anthropologist, on emperor-free clothes, 111

Hashim, Ahmed, military analyst, on black hole of Iraqi security, 63

Hedaya, Yael, Israeli novelist, grippingly uneventful book of, 133

Hitler, Adolf, destruction of Warsaw and, 46; questionable soul of, 105

Hughes, Howard, smog-free Vegas envisioned by, 157

Jaafari, Ibrahim, Iraqi PM, as marked man, 46

Jensen, Marten, "Doctor of Gambling," on inescapable disadvantages of slot-playing, 124

John Paul II, Darwinian concessions of, 112

Johnson, Samuel, olfactory distaste of, 176

Kadyrov, Akhmad, Chechen rebel leader, as Putin honoree, 52

Karig, Walter, Navy commander, as Nancy Drew author, 32

Karol, K. S., as Nazi survivor, 123; as gulag survivor, 123; idealism of, 123; Cuban disappointments of, 123

Kasparov, Garry Kimovich, as Putin foe, 48-52; liberal bona fides of, 48; ketchup-covered eggs and, 50; as dirty-tricks target, 50

Kerry, John, creationist supporters of, 111

Khomeini, Ruhollah, as Christmas-card recipient, 96, 97

Kirk, James T., future birthplace of, 34; bodily takeover of, 109

Kushner, Tony, absent Christian analogue of, 168

Langer, Susanne K., philosopher, on challenges of Chaos, 106

Lawrence, T. E., as counterinsurgency theorist, 71; soup-eating strategy of, 72

Legato, Frank, gambling analyst, on irreducible impersonality of slot machines, 123

Lincoln, Abraham, clairvoyant dream of, 16

Luft, Sidney, as boxer, 178; as Canadian air-force veteran, 178; as punch line, 179; as "least worst man in Judy Garland's life," 179

Manilow, Barry, as casino greeter, 158

Mansfield, Jayne, plural nature of, 34

Mao Zedong, as earthquake epicenter, 46; as "opportunistic gangster," 118; as anti-hygiene, 118; as pro-torture, 118

Mashkevich, Alexander, oligarch, generosity of, 98, 103-104

Massoud, Ahmad Shah, as romantic-memoir subject, 138

Maticevski, Toni, fashion designer, mom-and-pop operation of, 116

Mattis, Jim, U.S. general, Harrison Ford incarnation of, 64; mayoral expeditionary force proposed by, 64

al-Meshad, Yahya, Iraqi nuclear scientist, covert assassination of, 54

Metrinko, Michael, Iran hostage, refused Christmas dinner of, 97

Miller, Scott, deejay, as sympathy hostage, 92

Minnelli, Liza, farcical decline of, 179

Montana, Tony, video-poker preferences of, 129

Mother Teresa, baked likeness of, 111

Myles, Curtis, monorail wrangler, instant performance reviews of, 160

Nabokov, Vladimir, as Khomeini antagonist, 131; punning of, 134-135; Joycean achievement of, 131-135

Nasser, Gamal Abdel, thwarted missile program of, 56

Nazarbayev, Nursultan, Kazakh president, as exterior decorator, 98; hallowed palm print of, 100; messianic delusions of, 100; shepherd ancestors of, 100; leisure suit of, 102; as man with golden gun, 102; "instinctive plasticity" of, 102; as circusmaster, 104

Newton, Isaac, pitilessness of, 108

Nicolosi, Barbara, former nun, as screenwriting mentor, 161-168

Nobel, Alfred, as second-rate playwright, 15

Olsen, Ashley, grilled-cheese cameo of, 111

Ophelia, superfluity of, 131

Pamuk, Orhan, Turkish novelist, criminalized speech of, 15

Paul, apostle, as heaven skeptic, 112

Pedersen, Kim, monorail mandarin, on People Mover apostasy, 158; on light-rail insanity, 159

Perl, Jed, art critic, on comparative astringencies, 118; Wilsonian virtuosity of, 118

Persinger, Greg, Iran hostage, encyclopedia intake of, 94

Petraeus, Dave, U.S. general, on Iraqi security forces, 63, 71-74; as Lawrence reader, 71; Ph.D. of, 72

Philbin, Regis, as New Year's savior, 15

Pinker, Steven, on limits of self-delusion, 107

Plato, arts policy of, 123

Porter, Michael, economic-development guru, as Kazakh image consultant, 102

Putin, Vladimir, as censor in chief, 51; as hyena-minder, 51

Queen, Richard, Iran hostage, as impromptu librarian, 92

Roach, Stephen, economist, fiscal-catastrophe projections of, 38

Rodriguez, Narciso, as unsung fashion hero, 116

Rumsfeld, Donald, as insurgency skeptic, 68; operational boredom of, 70

Said, Nuri, former Iraqi PM, neologistic lynching of, 46

Schiaparelli, Elsa, as jargon fodder, 116

Schröder, Gerhard, soft touch of, 100

Seacrest, Ryan, tousled hair of, 15; as Dick Clark-in-waiting, 15

Shinawatra, Thaksin, Thai prime minister, empathy of, 15; slightly tawdry mourning techniques of, 15

Shinn, Barbara, Merlot pioneer, subterranean mushrooms and, 171

Sinatra, Frank, as Garland paramour, 179

Singer, Alvy, roller-coaster childhood of, 160

Sklansky, David, gambling theorist, on near unbeatability of the house, 129

Sontag, Susan, lost illusions of, 123

Spielberg, Steven, private jet of, 137

Stegner, Wallace, as Bellow skeptic, 80

Swift, Jonathan, bathroom humor of, 136; dairymaids and, 136; social insecurity of, 138

Swinburne, Algernon Charles, as Lolita source material, 134

Trump, Donald, as slot-machine barker, 122; as state of mind, 128

Verdad, Louis, fashion designer, sexy tweeds of, 115

Volcker, Paul, former Fed head, fiscal-catastrophe projections of, 38

Warren, Earl, scanty footnotes of, 59

Wijnants, Christian, fashion designer, as "knitting genius," 115

Wolfsthal, Jon, weapons analyst, on fussiness of centrifuges, 54-56

Yeltsin, Boris, shrinking liberalism of, 50-51; shrinking popularity of, 50; sub rosa heart problems of, 50

Zhakiyanov, Galymzhan, Kazakh dissident, equine lactation and, 103