Volume 295 no. 5 / June 2005
Abernathy, Ralph, as Beat associate, 126; Kissinger and, 126
Alexandra, nominal affluence of, 35
Annan, Kofi, redemption of, 46
Arledge, Roone, as Geraldo nemesis, 91; restroom reconciliation and, 98
Arnett, Peter, banishment of, 95
al-Asad, Bashar, Syrian president, towering badness of, 42
Bachner, Evan, on naval homoeroticism, 109
Barthes, Roland, as textual urbanist, 82
Bin Laden, Osama, as Geraldo nemesis, 90; as-yet-unbronzed head of, 90
Bismarck, Otto von, restraint of, 50; as lord of the Pacific, 50, 54
Blair, Tony, mass graves and, 70; as post-Thatcherite, 131
Bono, as squeaky wheel, 130
Brokaw, Tom, as Geraldo nemesis, 90, 92, 96
Brown, Pat, California governor, as free spender, 102; as plumber-in-chief, 102; sweetness of, 102; vivacity of, 102
Byron, Lord, mismatched legs of, 115; agonizing influence of, 115-118; egoism of, 116; sexuality of, 118
Caine, Michael, as relative titan, 130; Beverly Hills exile of, 130
Callaghan, James, British PM, as publican, 130; sunniness of, 130-131; wintry obliviousness of, 130-131; as polymathic footnote, 131; as teen bureaucrat, 131; as declinist, 131; as farmer, 131
Capone, Al, as Alcatraz resident, 80; barren vault of, 89, 91
Carson, Johnny, as Geraldo nemesis, 98
Carter, Jimmy, as Geraldo interlocutor, 91; as relative titan, 131; cloudiness of, 131
Casanova, as complex fellow, 118
Castro, Fidel, as gay icon, 76-78; as Geraldo interlocutor, 91
Churchill, Winston, on decline, 103
Clark, Ramsey, as U.S. attorney general, 66; as Saddam legal counsel, 66
Clinton, Bill, midterm comeback of, 40; resonant girth of, 84; defensive drift of, 103-104; terrorism and, 104
Couric, Katie, game face of, 89
Crawford, Joan, fading beauty of, 99; as combat standard, 99
Damon, Johnny, enjoined coif of, 13
Dantès, Edmond, escape of, 80
Davies, Marion, Hearst mistress, as muse of bad taste, 81
Dickens, Charles, as Microsoft consultant, 76
Donahue, Phil, soothing manner of, 91
Downs, Hugh, as Geraldo straight man, 90
Dumas, Roland, former French foreign minister, as Saddam attorney, 66; as publicity hound, 66
Emanuel, Rahm, as rising star, 40
Escher, M. C., as sociologist, 112
Farrell, J. G., novelist, freakish death of, 102; gallows humor of, 102; as absurdist, 102; as Austenean, 102; as proto-post-colonialist, 103
Finster, Howard, moth crucifix and, 109
Fitzgerald, F. Scott, as Tinseltown skeptic, 101; on Bill Clinton, 104
Folkenflik, David, as Geraldo nemesis, 94-95
Follett, Wilson, as language lodestar, 128
Ford, Gerald, realism of, 54
Franken, Al, debatable clownishness of, 118; deadly seriousness of, 118
Frist, Bill, as parliamentary Strangelove, 36
Fuchs, Daniel, as writer's writer, 101; as as substitute teacher, 101; as screenwriter, 101-102; as Oscar winner, 101; tanned children of, 101; hard lyricism of, 101-102
Gingrich, Newt, as kneecapper, 38
Ginsberg, Allen, sudden birth of, 78; as Kissinger adviser, 126; as nudist, 126
Haldeman, H. R., as keeper of secrets, 122
Hartley, L. P., as posterity geographer, 130
Hayworth, Rita, as drag template, 78
Hearst, William Randolph, bombastic kitsch of, 81; as baptist, 81; regurgitative properties of, 81; as second Noah, 82
Hendrix, Jimi, as curator, 75
Hughes, Karen, as Boomerang Mom, 113
Hugo, Victor, as Microsoft consultant, 76; as flaneur, 82
Hussein, Saddam, staged capture of, 65; selflessness of, 65; as victim, 65-67; as latter-day de Gaulle, 67; as gardener, 70; as poet, 70
Joyce, James, as Microsoft consultant, 76
Kennedy, Robert F., as Alcatraz repo man, 79; as wiretapper, 122-124
Kerouac, Jack, as Greyhound mascot, 81
al-Khasawneh, Ziad, Saddam attorney, as conspiracy theorist, 65-67, 70-72; potbelly of, 66; grounding contradictions of, 72; as carnival barker, 72; threat of dismemberment extended toward, 72
Kissinger, Henry, on Bismarck, 50; eavesdropping secretaries of, 119-126; charm of, 119; sensitivity of, 119-126; lunch tabs of, 119-120; as tattletale, 122; as Beat associate, 126; diplomatic nudity and, 126
Lee, Robert E., pinup potential of, 99
Lennon, John, Geraldo and, 91
Lermontov, Mikhail, Byronic nature of, 115-118; as Pushkin heir, 115, 117; as Scotsman, 115; Casanova complex of, 118; possible homosexuality of, 118; gendered destiny of, 118
Levitt, Steven, freakonomist, on baby names, 35
Madonna, as one-name wonder, 89; toddling accessory of, 113
Mao Zedong, optimism of, 30
McCarthy, Eugene, as Beat associate, 126; Kissinger and, 126
McGovern, George, free fall of, 122
Midler, Bette, as Geraldo lover, 91
Miller, Henry, shrine of, 81
Moran, Sherwood F., interrogator, as good cop, 32-35; as mosaicist, 35; enlightened hard-boiledness of, 35
Mozart, Wolfgang, as prenatal specialist, 106
Nabokov, Vladimir, as splitter of hairs, 115
Nelson, Horatio, as Geraldo of the sea, 94
Nemo, sub captain, as interior decorator, 94
Nicholas I, as literary critic, 117
Nixon, Richard, realism of, 54, 62; unkickability of, 102; transparency and, 119; bastards and, 125
Odets, Clifford, as Tinseltown skeptic, 101
Pelosi, Nancy, lousy sales skills of, 36; empty pep of, 36; "vapid response" of, 40; hopeful complacency of, 36-40
Peskowitz, Miriam, maternal taxonomy of, 113
Powell, Anthony, on the locality of all politics, 117
Pushkin, Aleksandr, as duelist, 115, 118; Ethiopian ancestry of, 115; as sellout, 117
Qaddafi, Aisha, Muammar's little girl, as Saddam attorney, 66
Reagan, Nancy, as prompter, 76
Reagan, Ron, stem-cell stemwinder of, 76; jean jacket of, 76; fleet feet of, 76
Reagan, Ronald, slimming mandate of, 83-84; as turning point, 102; complexity of, 130
Reichenbach, François, French filmmaker, as Sex O'Clock USA auteur, 76
Reid, Harry, as Smothers Brother, 36; as milquetoast, 36-40; whorehouse laundry and, 38; as mob target, 38; hopeful complacency of, 36-40
Rivera, Geraldo, as punch line, 89; recycled buttocks of, 89; as mariner, 89-90; parachuting parents of, 89; as Capone victim, 89, 91; self-awareness of, 90; Hispanicization of, 91; private island of, 91, 96; money tree of, 91; bar-mitzvah hookers and, 91; as first responder, 94; romantic persistence of, 95; Socrates and, 96; as Rather fan, 96; as Afghanophile, 96; tattooed biceps of, 96; as counterinsurgent, 98; as Roger Clemens, 98; as "example to us all," 98
Robbo, Red, British union leader, unpredictability of, 130
Rose, Axl, as sentinel, 110
Sade, Marquis de, machinery of, 76
Scharff, Hans Joachim, interrogative Nazi, charm of, 32
Schlafly, Phyllis, innocence of, 110
Schumer, Charles, as rising star, 40
Scott, Sir Walter, as hero of his time, 115
Shriver, Maria, as Boomerang Mom, 113
Sidey, Hugh, ill-advised confidences of, 122
Silber, Joan, verbal gymnastics of, 117; as seasoned seasoner, 117
Starr, Kenneth, as MoveOn target, 79
Starr, Kevin, as tour guide, 82; as private eye, 83; poolside reverie of, 102
Stewart, Jon, game face of, 89
Stewart, Martha, as one-name wonder, 89
Stroud, Kandy, society reporter, as muckraker, 119-120
Stroud, Robert, as Birdman of Alcatraz, 80
Thatcher, Margaret, slimming mandate of, 83-84; as mum, 131; as smasher of working classes, 131
Updike, John, as Booker nominee, 13; as Fuchs fan, 101; impishness of, 101
Vandenburg-Kipling, Suzanne, as mom to end all moms, 106, 113
Vermeer, as acid fiend, 109
Washington, George, fevered flight of, 38
Wells, Seething, punk poet, as personalizer of the political, 131
Whitman, Walt, as clanking trope, 113
Williams, Montel, as Geraldo progeny, 91
Willmott, H. P., naval expert, on battleship subtlety, 62-64
Young, Sean, as Catwoman, 110
Zeta-Jones, Catherine, yumminess of, 113
