Volume 295 no. 4 / May 2005
Abbas, Mahmoud, as Holocaust denier, 29; as democrat, 30
Achilles, as race-car driver, 78
Adair, Red, firefighter, as corporate-bailout artist, 38; as movie star, 38
Adamson, Andrew, director, as Shreksmith, 40; as Aslan interpreter, 40
Algren, Nelson, lowlifes and, 74; namesake street of, 74; as de Beauvoir paramour, 74
Allred, Owen, renegade polygamist, as Vegas operator, 142; Belize and, 142; as money launderer, 142; endless grandchildren of, 142; as "not your father's patriarch," 142
Andretti, Mario, as hallowed name, 78
Anschutz, Philip, billionaire, inscrutability of, 36-40; as film impresario, 36-40; as Presbyterian, 36-40; as art collector, 36; as soccer magnate, 36; as newspaperman, 36; as wildcatter, 38; used Buick of, 38; as idealist, 40; as lobotomy candidate, 40
Antonio, merchant of Venice, Social Security and, 42
Arafat, Yasir, uterine weaponry of, 30
Aslan, maned messiah, as matinee idol, 40
Atwood, Margaret, as Filene's Basement laureate, 119
Aunt Tilly, creeping obsolescence of, 98
Austen, Jane, as baseball innovator, 59
Bardot, Brigitte, as reference point, 82
Barnum, P. T., as mummy fabricator, 62
Barth, John, on literary exhaustion, 115; kindergarteners and, 120
Booth, John Wilkes, eerie bystanding of, 124
Boulding, Kenneth, economist, crustiness of, 98
Brooks, Mel, as Brooklynite, 86
Brown, John, abolitionist, ample sanity of, 121-126; fertility of, 122; as Cromwell fan, 123; as player of hardball, 123-126; Baconian ubiquity of, 124
Buchanan, Pat, synthetic outrage of, 90; as nativist, 90; as un-American, 90
Bunny, Bugs, as half of Hollywood's soul, 127
Burnham, Daniel Hudson, as Windy City Hausmann, 74
Bush, George W., as heeder of invisible bugles, 64; Oedipal complexity of, 64-66; goading laughter of, 66; as frustrated dilettante, 66; as lover of backfiring cars, 66; blessedness of, 66; foreordination of, 128
Bush, Laura, finicky tastes of, 40
Cameron, James, as documentarian, 40; as guerrilla, 130; as shipping magnate, 130
Capone, Al, as jazz connoisseur, 74
Capra, Frank, as flag-waver, 55
Carey, Mariah, banishment of, 111-112
Carlyle, Thomas, as mixed bag, 123
Chambrin, Pierre, White House chef, irredeemable Frenchness of, 40
Charles, Ray, as speechwriter, 76
Clinton, Hillary, as Koch crony, 88; as Terminator villain, 132
Coleman, Norm, senator, as outreach coordinator, 88; yuppie blondness of, 88; lupine smile of, 88
Collier, Bonnie, bra-borne contraband of, 142
Confucius, as man's man, 45
Cromwell, Oliver, as American Revolution ancestor, 123
Daley, Richard, snug tuxedo of, 74
Daschle, Linda, arrhythmic movements of, 84
Daschle, Tom, kisses of, 82; short trousers of, 82; as ghost dancer, 84; as "worst human being in America," 84
De Grey, Aubrey, theoretical geneticist, mousebound immortality and, 92
Dickens, Charles, restraint of, 116
Doubleday, Abner, as father of baseball, 58; as no such thing, 59
Duck, Daffy, as half of Hollywood's soul, 127; chronic thwartedness of, 127
Ebbers, Bernard, as totem of corporate chicanery, 36
Field, Sally, dullness of, 131
Foer, Jonathan Safran, frantic clowning of, 115-120; mating tortoises and, 119
Foyt, A. J., as hallowed name, 78
Gaines, Steven, as pop micro-sociologist, 111-112; as smut peddler, 111; as Stockholm-syndrome sufferer, 112
Gallo, Vincent, bug-flecked windshield of, 117
Garrison, William Lloyd, Paisley pattern of, 121
Gates, Bill, sheltered perch of, 100
Goldberg, Rube, as film exec, 128
Goldstein, Joshua, demographer, on thirtysomething adolescents, 98
Goldwyn, Samuel, quacking of, 127
Gore, Al, Motor City momentum of, 66
Haller, Henry, White House chef, as poacher of landmark egg, 40
Hammurabi, as feminist, 24
Harrison, Jim, novelist, on wolf's humanity to man, 85; as jet-lag enthusiast, 85; swashbuckling face of, 86
Hector, as race-car driver, 78
Hegel, G.W.F., as hooker ventriloquist, 124
Hemingway, Ernest, irritating eminence of, 85
Hilfiger, Tommy, as smooth talker, 111
Hood, Robin, Social Security and, 42
Isaiah, as abolitionist, 121
Ishiguro, Kazuo, eponymic elusiveness of, 123; "inky bleakness" of, 123
Jenner, Edward, milkmaids and, 26
Johnson, Lyndon, earthy appetites of, 40
Kass, Leon, bioethicist, on dangers of protracted youth, 98-99; numbered days of, 99
Kennedy, John F., Gallic pretensions of, 40; presidential training of, 66
Kerry, John, minibar preferences of, 78
Kim Jong Chol, Dear Leader candidate, glorified mother of, 44; sanctifying alias of, 44; as "like a girl," 44
Kim Jong Il, succession plan of, 44-45
Kim Jong Nam, Dear Leader candidate, as tiller of manure, 44; defective relatives of, 44; as Disney fan, 44
Koch, Ed, as Bush Democrat, 88; stubborn nostalgia of, 88
Lay, Kenneth, as totem of corporate chicanery, 36
Lewis, C. S., as screenwriter, 36, 40
Leyner, Mark, novelist, as cereal wrangler, 119
Lucas, George, godlike fallibility of, 131
Luntz, Frank, GOP pollster, as object of Democratic envy, 46; as master of the obvious, 46
Maimonides, on swine, 134
Mandell, Mort, as pillar of Cleveland, 64
Marinetti, Filippo, Italian futurist, as crumpled refuse, 100
Marx, Karl, on ideology, 89; as American prophet, 89
McAllester, Matthew, war correspondent, as suspected spy, 107; Abu Ghraib confinement of, 107
Means, Russell, as friend of Brando, 84; activism of, 84; as Bush supporter, 84; large fax machine of, 84; as watercolorist, 84; Moonies and, 84; competitive victimhood and, 84-85
Murakami, Haruki, bewitching strangeness of, 124
Nixon, Richard, just dessert of, 40; as beginning of the end, 85-86
O'Hara, John, lingering relevance of, 111
Obama, Barack, as "black Clinton," 76
Orwell, George, as Blitz bard, 112
Patton, George, as gas guzzler, 34
Peck, Dale, selective outrage of, 116
Pepys, Samuel, naval career of, 114
Perón, Juan, staying power of, 100
Pierce, Franklin, decrepitude of, 123
Powell, Anthony, as Blitz bard, 112
Qin Shihuang, terra-cotta army of, 127; as Oscar contender, 127
Reagan, Ronald, as deinstitutionalizer, 74; Star Wars prophecy of, 128; celluloid values of, 132
Rodger, N.A.M., naval historian, staggering erudition of, 112-114; on shipboard wives, 114; on suckling goats, 114; acerbic bibliography of, 114
Rokeach, Israel, kosher soapmaker, 136
Rommel, Erwin, as gas guzzler, 34
Sanders, Colonel, as pimp, 124
Santorum, Rick, childlike need of to please, 88; as Catholic, 88; as Zionist, 88
Schwarzenegger, Arnold, socialist (sic) youth of, 89; as Bugs Bunny, 132; contempt for losers harbored by, 132; seamy side of, 132; off-road grammar of, 132; pay-as-you-go misogyny of, 132
Sentelle, David, judge, as man who would hurt a fly, 50
Sharon, Ariel, bloody past of, 29; French Jews and, 84
Sizemore, Tom, Whizzinator of, 50
Smith, Anna Nicole, quivering mobility of, 92; as harbinger of the future, 92; trophy husband of, 92
Smith, Michael W., star-spangled muse of, 55
Sparks, Nicholas, as recipient of no respect, 119
Spooner, Lysander, breathtaking name of, 121; as abolitionist, 121
Stalin, Joseph, staying power of, 100; as relative guerrilla, 130
Stone, Lawrence, historian, on divorce as death substitute, 99
Strobel, Lee, self-help guru, 75; faith-based weight-loss program of, 75; exuberant signature of, 75
Thorpe, Jim, as movie fodder, 40
Tocqueville, Alexis de, footsteps of, 54-89
Trump, Donald, as centenarian, 96
Van Damme, Jean-Claude, as inspiration, 108
Verdon, Rene, White House chef, redemptive Frenchness of, 40
Walker, Johnnie, as cat-killer, 124
Weinstein, Harvey, as Daffy Duck, 127
Witherspoon, Reese, ad hoc vivacity of, 128
Yamada, Masahiro, Japanese sociologist, on "parasite singles," 98