I Get There Firstmost With the Bestmost

I bring you gilded chairs. But you’ve a house
filled to with furniture you can’t use
and steamer trunks for the items you collect.

I build you shelves; you keep your books in a pile.
Wood for your fire? You use oil.
You’re not impressed with my intellect.

Tell you what, I’ve a big kite with a tail
that says: Vote Bull Moose! The perfect thing to sail
from your gable. You’ve got one. Would you select

an antler from my attic? A pound of bees?
Mink-fluted night pail lined with rare old cheese?
Say, you can see the zoo, should you elect
to tour my hometown. Please? In your worst chemise?
Peacock! Cigars! Lady, I’m on my knees!