The Perfect Pet

“Serpents make perfect urban pets — or so say the numerous New Yorkers who own them. NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE

I bought a boa constrictor
To give my wife a pet.
In moments when she’s lucid
She talks about it yet.
I thought it might be helpful
To change it for a krait.
I still recall her comments
When they came for her that night.
Her conduct had me worried;
But then I found the nub:
These pets are good for urban-
ites — and we are sub.
The moral: though in cities
Snakes may work out fine,
You’ll need, if extra-urban,
A wife that isn’t mine.