Thoughts Thought While Hosting Comfortably in Phillips House, Massachusetts General Hospital, Overlooking the Charles River
OGDEN NASH
Something, probably diet, seems to have stunted my mental growth,
I can’t remember the difference between a valedictorian and a valetudinarian and I suspect that I am both.
In church when confessing my misdeeds, which I am truly distraught to have done,
I begin with those things I have done that I ought not to have done instead of those things I have left undone that I ought to have done.
Sometimes I spell sex s-e-c-k-s, not to be humorous,
Just because I feel it must be plural, it has become so numerous.
Problems of terminology grow more and more knotty;
I had just learned to say judo instead of jujitsu when it suddenly turned into karate.
I can’t seem to get in step;
I know that a policeman is now fuzz instead of a cop. but which does that knowledge make me, hip or hep?
I had just straightened out Guinea and Guiana,
And up popped Ghana.
My mind obviously needs renewal;
Come cosset me with posset, comfort me with comfits, re-fuel me with gruel.
There, that’s better, now my mind takes a spry turn,
I remember the difference between a pas de deux and a padishah, padishah means great king or emperor and pas de deux means now it’s my turn.
I would be completely recovered but for a recent disappointment suffered when I distinctly heard Ed
Sullivan announce the appearance of a group of Spanish dentures;
When they turned out to be Spanish dancers I asked the nurse to switch to a film about a dedicated nurse beset by topers and wenchers.
I can’t remember the difference between a valedictorian and a valetudinarian and I suspect that I am both.
In church when confessing my misdeeds, which I am truly distraught to have done,
I begin with those things I have done that I ought not to have done instead of those things I have left undone that I ought to have done.
Sometimes I spell sex s-e-c-k-s, not to be humorous,
Just because I feel it must be plural, it has become so numerous.
Problems of terminology grow more and more knotty;
I had just learned to say judo instead of jujitsu when it suddenly turned into karate.
I can’t seem to get in step;
I know that a policeman is now fuzz instead of a cop. but which does that knowledge make me, hip or hep?
I had just straightened out Guinea and Guiana,
And up popped Ghana.
My mind obviously needs renewal;
Come cosset me with posset, comfort me with comfits, re-fuel me with gruel.
There, that’s better, now my mind takes a spry turn,
I remember the difference between a pas de deux and a padishah, padishah means great king or emperor and pas de deux means now it’s my turn.
I would be completely recovered but for a recent disappointment suffered when I distinctly heard Ed
Sullivan announce the appearance of a group of Spanish dentures;
When they turned out to be Spanish dancers I asked the nurse to switch to a film about a dedicated nurse beset by topers and wenchers.